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Privacy and Family Time

Tip: Know How To “Pull a Garbo”

by cv harquail April 20, 2012

“I Vant to Be Alone” ~ Greta Garbo As the famous film actress explained, sometimes a wo/man needs a break. A grown-up’s “time out”. A moment of quiet, in her own kitchen, with a cup of tea and no one asking her to explain yet again how the microwave works. You’ve been there, I know. [...]

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Our Au Pair is Dating My Husband’s Close Friend. Now what?

by cv harquail February 4, 2012

And speaking of trying to maintain some privacy around ones adult social life, Here’s an email that has me completely stumped.  How do they stay “host parents” to their au pair, and friends with their friend, and have any separate adult social life? We really need your ideas here, folks. Dear Au Pair Mom, I [...]

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Invasion of Privacy: Time for rematch?

by cv harquail October 19, 2011

Here at AuPairMom we get some very interesting emails from host parents and au pairs facing challenges in their relationships. Sometimes these questions are easy to answer, other times the whole group of us has to band together to come up with useful advice. Sometimes these emails make me sad — so much struggle, such [...]

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Tip for the Work-At-Home Parent with an Au Pair: Have Rules for Interruption

by cv harquail August 21, 2011

One of the hardest parts of  being a work-at-home parent is managing the interruptions. Not that we don’t love our kids, or want to see them and help them when they need us. But we need to be able to step into the “work mode” and stay there in order to get quality work done. [...]

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Au Pairs and Online Romances: Your role as a Host Parent

by cv harquail June 10, 2011

As host parents we feel responsible for keeping our au pairs safe, since they are under our roofs and with our families. However, we recognize that what they do on their own time is (largely) their own business. Au pairs deserve social autonomy, privacy, and the chance to experiment with new things and new relationships. [...]

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Traveling Together — Managing your Au Pair’s independence and Safety

by cv harquail January 18, 2011

Dear AuPairMom Readers– I would love the input of some other host families regarding our upcoming cruise vacation with our Au Pair. We have never done a vacation like this with an AP and I am concerned about how best to make it work. Going along on the cruise are me (Host Mom), my husband, [...]

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When an Invasion of Privacy Threatens an Au Pair Relationship

by cv harquail December 9, 2010

There’s a reason we have doors on our bedrooms, and it’s not to keep out the light or the noise when we’re trying to fall asleep– it’s to give us some privacy where we can completely relax, knowing that no one will see whatever it is we are doing. Sometimes I’ve felt like there is [...]

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Wanted: Good (and Kind) Comebacks to Unsolicited Advice

by cv harquail November 28, 2010

Dear AuPairMom Readers- I am a 40 year old mother of three wonderful and well mannered boys. I have a great marriage and love my professional life. As a younger woman I have had many adventures. I have traveled to many countries and even lived abroad. I have no complaints. So why, why, why do [...]

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Au Pair Asks: How should I expect to act around my Host Family?

by cv harquail November 6, 2010

Dear Au Pair Moms, What is an acceptable way to act around the host family? is it more like a work environment, or would, for instance, an au pair treat the host mom like a real mom, and tell her most things about her social life outside of the au-pairing job? Is it common for [...]

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Checking Facebook for Insights About Your Au Pair’s Experience

by cv harquail October 13, 2010

Who needs to snoop in an au pair’s room or flip through an au pair’s journal, when there is Facebook to tell us our au pair’s inner thoughts? Not that any of us would intentionally snoop.  (As we’ve already discussed, there are very few and very specific times when snooping seems even remotely reasonable.) And, [...]

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