Privacy and Family Time

When a Host Mom Starts Dating Again …

by cv harquail March 19, 2018
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Hi Everyone —  SO MUCH going on, all good, but it took this email, below, to get me back on the blog. It’s from a long-time reader and commenter who will remain nameless.  When I first read it, all I could say was I am SO PROUD of her for going to the gym! Moving […]

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Taking Your Au Pair “On Vacation”: How can you make sure you’re fair to your Au Pair?

by cv harquail August 8, 2017

Today I got emails from two different au pairs, both asking for advice about going on vacations with their Host Families. In both situations, it seems that the Host Parents aren’t really following the rules around the 10 hours per day/ 45 hrs per week limits. Scanning back through the archives, I realized that nearly […]

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The Worst Thing an Au Pair Can Overhear

by cv harquail March 17, 2017
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Quick — what’s the worst thing your au pair could ever overhear? You telling your Host Parent partner how much the Au Pair bothers you? Some kind of grumpy food-related complaint you should be too adult to even have? You announcing that  you’ve tucked a speed tracker into the Au Pair car, so now you’ll […]

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With Your Au Pair’s Social Life, Be Caring Not Controlling

by cv harquail January 28, 2017
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If you can trust your Au Pair with your children, can’t you trust her with her own Saturday night plans? I wondered this, when I read the email (below) from the OverMonitoredAuPair. I am a BIG believer in knowing how to find your Au Pair in an emergency during his/her off-duty time. I am a […]

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Your Au Pair’s Bedroom: What to provide to make your Au Pair comfortable and welcome

by cv harquail October 11, 2016

Picture yourself in this room.  Imagine that you’ve just spent 8 hours with energetic kids, talking in your second language, driving on unfamiliar streets on the wrong side of the road. Wouldn’t it be lovely if you could walk upstairs, open the door, and step into a room like this?   It doesn’t have to […]

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How To Count Au Pair Vacation Days

by cv harquail December 6, 2015
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Please note: Check your Agency’s contract for their interpretation of vacation policies. These may vary from one Au Pair Agency to another. Here’s AuPairMom’s best shot at explaining the logic of vacation days… I’m being sensible, but not necessarily following the specifics of your Agency’s contract. There’s often confusion about how to count the number […]

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Layers of Au Pair Problems…Leading to Rematch?

by cv harquail November 9, 2015
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This Host Mom’s got it all falling apart. Little seems to be going as expected. When this Host Mom emailed, I’d suggested to her that maybe it would be easier if we separated the topics and had one post for #1 and another for #2 & #3– but they feel too connected in the Host Mom’s […]

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What Forever Au Pair Wishes Her Host Family Knew

by cv harquail August 10, 2015
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Forever AuPair offered this as a comment to the earlier post13 Things Your Au Pair Wishes Host Families Knew, by Janine Snyder (AuPairSis). I thought it would make a great post of its own! What I Wish My Host Family Knew 1. Support your Au pair when she disciplines your kids, even if you would have done […]

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My Brother is Dating My Au Pair – Against My Wishes

by cv harquail June 15, 2015
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Usually it helps to think about your Au Pair as ‘part of the family’. S/he lives with you, sees what’s behind the scenes, and knows some of your family drama.  Because we do integrate our Au Pairs into our family lives, situations come up that– were s/he a live-out nanny or part time babysitter — would […]

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Can an Au Pair Help An Anorexic Host Mom? Should She Try?

by cv harquail April 21, 2015
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When an au pair notices that the host mom is having some kind of personal problem, should the au pair try to talk with the host mom about it? When I think about this question in the abstract, my answer is “Of course! If the au pair cares about the host mm as a person, […]

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