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Part of the Family

Our Au Pair is Dating My Husband’s Close Friend. Now what?

by cv harquail February 4, 2012

And speaking of trying to maintain some privacy around ones adult social life, Here’s an email that has me completely stumped.  How do they stay “host parents” to their au pair, and friends with their friend, and have any separate adult social life? We really need your ideas here, folks. Dear Au Pair Mom, I [...]

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Our Au Pair Hates Our Dog: Ideas to help?

by cv harquail January 8, 2012

What do we do when our au pairs don’t like our pets? No au pair is required or should be expected to take care of a dog by walking him, feeding him or training him. Pets are most assuredly not the responsibility of an au pair. While a pet-friendly au pair may be happy to [...]

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Holiday Gift Idea: The Gratitude Jar

by cv harquail December 14, 2011

Another favorite, handmade memory gift is a Gratitude Jar. A Gratitude Jar is just a decorated jar, with slips of paper and a pen attached. Parents, au pairs and kids can use the jar to remind them to write down funny or sweet things that happen, and then put the slip in the jar, to [...]

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Will your au pair be on duty this Christmas?

by cv harquail December 9, 2011

What will your au pair be doing this Christmas day?     If you have asked your au pair to be on duty and work during part of Christmas Eve & Christmas day, how did you present this plan to him or her? Did you discuss it during matching, or months ago, or just this [...]

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Holiday Gift idea: Ornaments of Rememberment

by cv harquail December 7, 2011

If an au pair could make just one thing for a family who celebrates Christmas, I’d suggest something I call Ornaments of Rememberment. Ornaments of Rememberment are ornaments that are pretty on their own, but that also have some special memory attached. Maybe it’s the ticket stub from the performance of The Nutcracker that you [...]

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Extablishing Expectations when an Au Pair Has Guests

by cv harquail November 30, 2011

There’s something about hosting a friend of relative of your au pair that can mess with the fine balance between “part of the family”&  “childcare provider” and between “host mom” and “house elf/slave”. For lots of us, we forget to check our assumptions about how we should act towards other people’s guests, how much of [...]

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Holiday Cards: Do you include your Au Pair in the family photo? (Poll)

by cv harquail November 14, 2011

Don’t you love getting holiday cards from friends, especially when the cards have a photo of their whole family? We have so many friends who live so far away that the only chance I get to see how their kids are growing is from the holiday card photos.  Plus, I love to put them on [...]

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Help: We Need Our Au Pair to Grow Up

by cv harquail October 28, 2011

Au Pairs mature a lot during their year(s) in our homes. Most of them become more independent, more worldly, more self-confident, and more self-directed. They pretty much have to grow, since the challenges of living in another country, with another family, with responsibility for childcare are just to much for an immature person to handle [...]

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Family Invitations: Should your Au Pair be included?

by cv harquail July 27, 2011

How do other people see your au pair? When you tell them that she or he should be treated as “part of the family”, what do your think that means to them? Grandparents, next door neighbors, teachers, and mail carriers all have their own ideas about whether, when, and how an au pair is or [...]

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Have a 9-11 Plan for your family and your au pair

by cv harquail March 14, 2011

(First published on 9.11.09.  Republished with original comments.) Thinking about ‘lessons’ from 9-11 can often be heartbreaking, especially in my community where so many of us lost family, friends and co-workers in the WTC attacks. It’s almost disrespectful to bring up the idea of a “9-11″ plan, but maybe thinking ahead about how we might [...]

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