Part of the Family

Effective Ways to Socialize with Your Au Pair?

by cv harquail May 21, 2018

When parents welcome an au pair into their home, it’s important for everyone to get to know each other. A few conversations around the dinner table and an occasional one-on-one trip to Starbucks were the ways that my DH and I made time to get to know our au pairs. I don’t know if we […]

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What Do Au Pair Host Moms Want for Christmas?

by cv harquail December 10, 2017
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For Au Pairs in Host Families who celebrate Christmas… “What do you want for Christmas?” I’m never able to answer that question. Some years I remember to keep a running list of things I want (e.g.,  sports headbands, a black-ish pair of outdoor running shoes, a pair of Uggs to replace the ones with holes in them, […]

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Too much connection, then too little: Rematch Again, Au Pair Asks?

by cv harquail November 20, 2017
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Dear AuPairMom, I am an Au Pair in the U.S and in my 3rd month right know. About 2 weeks ago I came from one state to a new one through rematch. My first situation wasn’t horrible. I just had a hard time connecting with the kids (7, 9, 12) and the host mom openly […]

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New Au Pair Has Already Invited Her Mom to Visit. For Two Weeks. In Our House.

by cv harquail October 22, 2017
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The situation below features an Au Pair who’s been quite presumptuous– inviting her mom to stay WITHOUT asking her Host Parents. I can’t even figure out how to set this post up nicely because this situation would have me fuming. As much as I want to be generous, and welcoming, I’ve found that having other […]

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Support Gun Safety Legislation

by cv harquail October 4, 2017
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Dear Readers — A girlfriend reminded me this morning that, as a person who runs a website that reaches 16,000 people a month, I have a responsibility to use this platform wisely.  To promote community, to promote growth, to promote learning, to promote cross cultural understanding, and to promote safety. One of the most horrifying […]

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Different Defaults for Deciding When an Au Pair is “Part of the Family”

by cv harquail July 27, 2017
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Who decides, and how do you decide, when an Au Pair should be included in (off duty) family events? Nearly all of the time, my default has been to invite the au pair, unless its a private event (e.g., friend’s kid’s birthday) or a boring-to-an-au pair event (e.g., company picnic where family is invited). As […]

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Religious Au Pair Doesn’t Celebrate Holidays. Would you still consider her?

by cv harquail July 22, 2017
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Celebrating American holidays with your au pair or host family is one of the biggest (and most fun) elements of cultural exchange. Holidays are a unique window into culture. The traditions, the food, the festive spirit all invite us to talk about the values behind the celebration. On the more personal, less ‘cultural’ level, holidays […]

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Explaining “America” to Your Au Pair

by cv harquail June 30, 2017
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4th of July is one of my favorite holidays… all about family, community and abstract patriotic notions. 4th of July is also the holiday when I am most likely to embarrass my children– apparently, as they get older, it is no longer cool to have a mom who dresses up in red, white & blue […]

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Mom of Au Pair Asks: How Can I Offer Support from Afar?

by cv harquail June 27, 2017
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For the first time ever, we’ve heard from the mom of a brand new Au Pair.   Her daughter is running into problems with her Host Family, and the au pair’s Mom wants to know– how can she help? I’ve wanted to ignore the possibility that an pair’s parents would be offering her real-time advice on […]

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When You Give and Give, and Your Au Pair is Oblivious

by cv harquail May 13, 2017
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Dear Au Pair Host Parents– I need advice/support …. Our awesome au pair went in to an emergency medical situation a couple of weeks ago, where she came down with a stomach pain, which turned into appendicitis, and later a ruptured appendix. All told it was 5 nights in the hospital, and 10 days off the […]

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