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House & home

Please Turn Down the TV — Reasonable or Rude?

by cv harquail December 6, 2011

We host parents often find ourselves wishing that our au pairs could just *tell us* when something is bothering them. We can only address things we know about– and if something is wrong and you keep quiet about it, the problem keeps simmering. This is true with bigger issues (too much texting) and smallish issues [...]

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Damage to the Au Pair Room: Should we have a security deposit?

by cv harquail November 2, 2011

We’ve had some funny and not so funny stories about damage to our homes by au pairs who were clueless (at best), careless (most often) and intentionally destructive (nightmare). Everything from soaked ceilings under the au pair bathroom, to hair dye on the bathroom walls, to nail polish on the fancy sheets. We have a decent handle on what to expect [...]

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Invasion of Privacy: Time for rematch?

by cv harquail October 19, 2011

Here at AuPairMom we get some very interesting emails from host parents and au pairs facing challenges in their relationships. Sometimes these questions are easy to answer, other times the whole group of us has to band together to come up with useful advice. Sometimes these emails make me sad — so much struggle, such [...]

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Helping our au pairs in the grey space between what we say we’ll do and what we get done

by cv harquail June 23, 2011

It will come as no surprise to most au pairs that most of us host parents have high expectations for ourselves that we often can’t meet. We want to be good drivers, calm parents, regular exercisers, and people who pick up after ourselves. And we are– just not all the time (not most of us, [...]

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Is it demeaning to ask your au pair to iron kids’ clothes?

by cv harquail August 8, 2010

When my girls were littler, they had lots of adorable cotton dresses. All of these dresses were wash’n wear, which meant that they were okay to wear if clean but wrinkly. To look fabulous, these dresses didn’t need lots of ironing– just 2 minutes with an iron on the collars, hems, and sashes turned them [...]

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Your Au Pair is not a Maid

by cv harquail June 17, 2010

What’s the difference between an au pair and a maid? In some host families, not very much. Some host families expect their au pairs to do basic housework in addition to caring for children. In the US, “housekeeping”is limited to cleaning up the kids rooms (but in my mind, not vacuuming them), keeping the play [...]

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Your Au Pair’s Room: Give her a choice of pillows

by cv harquail March 15, 2010

When it comes to bedding for your au pair’s room, there are three criteria that must be met: The bedding must look clean. The bedding must smell clean. There must be enough bedding. It’s a bonus if the mattress is new, if the bigger bed fits the room, or if the sheets are her or [...]

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What Size Bed for Your Au Pair (Poll)

by cv harquail March 11, 2010

A host mom writes: Do we need to get a bigger bed for our next au pair? Our current au pair has a queen-size bed in her room, which used to be our guest room. We are moving to a larger home in a few months. The new house will have a guest room, and [...]

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Can this Au Pair relationship be saved? Lying, smoking, drinking, and the silent treatment

by cv harquail March 3, 2010

Hi, AuPairMom Readers– We are a host family in a metropolitan suburb with two young boys. This is our fourth year hosting. Over the years, we have had 3 very successful matches and 2 rematches – a mixed bag. The good matches were very good, and those au pairs continue to visit us, and we [...]

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Is Snooping in your Au Pair’s room ever okay?

by cv harquail February 6, 2010

I got an email from “Undercover Host Mom” — she is struggling with this dilemma: Although we have a strict and absolute non-smoking policy, and discussed this before we matched with our au pair, I have come to wonder whether she is smoking in our car and maybe even in the house. (It’s hard to [...]

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