Emotions

Au Pair’s Attitude is a Downer: Can we get her to change?

by cv harquail October 18, 2017

“A wet blanket” “Debbie Downer” “Sad Sack” “Uninspiring” What a drag to imagine these words characterizing your Au Pair. When an Au Pair has a “not optimistic” attitude towards the every day, it’s hard to imagine them adding to the family spirit rather than subtracting from it. Is it possible to get an Au Pair […]

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Should An Au Pair’s Unpredictable Moods Send Us To Rematch?

by cv harquail August 31, 2016

Having an Au Pair join your family is always emotionally challenging. Even with the best and most lovely au pairs, it takes effort to get in sync with each other. We not only have to mesh with each other’s ways of doing things, sharing work, managing cars, and caring for kids, but also Host […]

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Single Host Mom with UnAppreciative Au Pair: Can This Relationship Be Saved?

by cv harquail January 23, 2016

Dear Au Pair Mom Readers — I don’t know why I thought I was ready for this!! Friends of my parents have had wonderful experiences with their au pairs and I thought hosting an au pair would allow for my daughter to be at home another year while I returned to school. First, the positive: […]

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Gentle Ways to Let Go of Your Departed Au Pair

by cv harquail October 24, 2015

Letting go of an Au Pair you’ve loved having as part of your family can be really, really hard. Really hard. Of course, it’s a nice problem to have … but it’s still a challenge. After all, you’ve had a wonderful year with your Au Pair — s/he’s been happy, the kids have been happy, you’ve been […]

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Welcoming Your New Au Pair While You Say Goodbye To Your Former Au Pair.

by cv harquail October 24, 2015

How do you manage to welcome a new Au Pair and create room in your heart for the Au Pair in your home, while you’re still missing your former Au Pair, the one who’s gone home? This question is not so much about “overlap”, when you have two au pairs in your home. It’s more […]

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Does Every Au Pair-Host Parent Relationship Deflate Towards The End?

by cv harquail August 25, 2015

In a world where most AuPair-Host Parent relationships are just “fine”, are those of us who’ve had terrific Au Pairs simply lucky? Or have we forgotten the hard parts –as we’ve forgotten the pain of childbirth, or the sleepless nights of new parenthood– and just held on tightly to the good? Truth be told, I’ve […]

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Helping an Au Pair with Depression – without Rematch

by cv harquail May 11, 2015

It’s more than homesickness. It’s more than a bad day, or a bad mood. It’s depression, and it’s a serious disorder. Is there anything a host parent can do to help? HostMomInParadise writes: I am a host mom in transition. My au pair had been here 8 months and left suddenly, stopping work abruptly and […]

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How Can We Help Our Grieving Au Pair?

by cv harquail April 18, 2013

About three weeks ago my au pair’s boyfriend (local in the USA) died suddenly in an accident. By way of background, she has been with us since last June and is planning to stay another year. We have twin boys that are 13 months old. Both my husband and I work in demanding jobs. We […]

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Ending the Au Pair Year on the Right Note, by Host Mom TACL

by cv harquail July 29, 2011

SuperHost Mom and contributing AuPairMom Advisor TACL (Taking a Computer Lunch) noticed that the blog has been rather quiet of late. Using her Masterpiece Theatre Poirot and Holmes skills, she correctly deduced that I’ve been overwhelmed enough by work that I haven’t been able to keep up. As always, lots of work is good for […]

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What if you Au Pair thinks your child might need professional help?

by cv harquail June 17, 2011

Our au pairs get an up-close and personal view of our families. Sometimes they see things we don’t see, maybe even things we don’t want to see for ourselves. Because au pairs interact with our children when we parents are often not around, and they spend longs days with our kids, they may notice things […]

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