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Differences

Thriving despite conflicts: 9 Rules of Negotiating with Your Au Pair

by cv harquail January 29, 2012

One of the crazy benefits of being an au pair mom or dad is that host parenting gives us many chances to practice skills that make us better everywhere in our lives. Chief among the skills we get to practice is how to negotiate. By using conflicts with our au pairs (or even simple disagreements [...]

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Please Turn Down the TV — Reasonable or Rude?

by cv harquail December 6, 2011

We host parents often find ourselves wishing that our au pairs could just *tell us* when something is bothering them. We can only address things we know about– and if something is wrong and you keep quiet about it, the problem keeps simmering. This is true with bigger issues (too much texting) and smallish issues [...]

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What to Wear? asks the Au Pair

by cv harquail November 2, 2010

I know we had a conversation a while back when a host mom’s au pair was dressing link a tramp a little “inappropriately”, but I thought we could revisit that conversion from a more positive direction, thinking about what we’d recommend. We received this email from a soon-to-be au pair: I am a 20 year [...]

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Cultural Exchange: Let’s ramp up our learning

by cv harquail August 20, 2010

The world of au pairing makes some pretty big promises. Au Pairs are promised a year of hard work and adventure, the chance to live in the USofA, and the opportunity to learn first hand about American culture. Families are promised an energetic adventurous young adult who will partly assimilate into their families and partly [...]

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What counts as “cultural exchange”?

by cv harquail August 3, 2010

Host Mom KMW writes with this thoughtful question: Most families seem to include the cultural aspect of having an au pair as an important reason for going the au pair route. I have been thinking a lot about the pluses and minuses of Au Pairs vs. a US based nanny… and I’m wondering how much [...]

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When Your Host Mom is a Stripper

by cv harquail July 1, 2010

Host moms and dads have a lot of interesting occupations, and habits. On this blog, we’ve got police officers, massage therapists, teachers, managers, writers, dog breeders, and more. But up until this comment, below, I never thought any of us host parents … well, here’s the comment: This isn’t really to ask for advice, more [...]

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Choosing an Au Pair: Sexual Orientation as a consideration

by cv harquail May 5, 2010

When we are looking for au pair candidates who might be a good fit with our family, we have criteria (e.g., must drive, can’t smoke, likes dogs) that are non-negotiable. We have preferences that direct us to candidates with characteristics we think we’d like in an au pair (e.g., is musically talented, family-oriented, German). And [...]

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What really motivates them to become Au Pairs?

by cv harquail May 3, 2010

Very few au pairs come to the US because they want to take care of kids. They can do this in their home countries, with a lot less drama and zero homesickness. While many (let’s hope, most) au pairs like kids, and think they will enjoy caring for kids for a year, this is usually [...]

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Choosing an Au Pair: How much does the home country matter?

by cv harquail April 29, 2010

Host parents are often asked why they’ve chosen an au pair from a particular country, and whether an au pair’s home country matters. How do you answer that question, without sounding like you’re stereotyping too much? When it comes to having preferences for countries, we feel very comfortable prioritizing home countries based on language– if [...]

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My Au Pair Dresses Like a Tramp. Help!

by cv harquail April 27, 2010

Au Pairs and their appearance– another dicey topic. We don’t like to think that an au pair’s physical appearance affects how we (or others) respond to her, but the ugly truth is– appearances are influential. When we (American) host parents react to an au pair’s appearance, we’re invoking preferences, expectations and interpretations based partly in [...]

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