Common Challenges

Your Bra is Showing and My Kids Shirt is on Backwards – Giving APs Candid Feedback

by Texas HM September 11, 2018

I was chatting with fellow long time host mom/LCC/AP Mom regular Julie Dye this week and when she quoted her college professor R Wayne Boss at the University of Colorado – Boulder and it prompted me to shout “Amen” on the spot and ask if I could share/write a post about it! He says this: “Never […]

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Effective Ways to Socialize with Your Au Pair?

by cv harquail May 21, 2018

When parents welcome an au pair into their home, it’s important for everyone to get to know each other. A few conversations around the dinner table and an occasional one-on-one trip to Starbucks were the ways that my DH and I made time to get to know our au pairs. I don’t know if we […]

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Au Pair Vacation Requests: Too Much, Too Soon

by cv harquail April 17, 2018
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Hey, I get it. A big part of the appeal of an Au Pair year in the USA is the chance to travel around and see the place. It’s part of the cultural exchange, and a big part of the adventure. But, vacationing shouldn’t be the #1 priority of the Au Pair. When it seems […]

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When a Host Mom Starts Dating Again …

by cv harquail March 19, 2018
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Hi Everyone —  SO MUCH going on, all good, but it took this email, below, to get me back on the blog. It’s from a long-time reader and commenter who will remain nameless.  When I first read it, all I could say was I am SO PROUD of her for going to the gym! Moving […]

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What Do Au Pair Host Moms Want for Christmas?

by cv harquail December 10, 2017
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For Au Pairs in Host Families who celebrate Christmas… “What do you want for Christmas?” I’m never able to answer that question. Some years I remember to keep a running list of things I want (e.g.,  sports headbands, a black-ish pair of outdoor running shoes, a pair of Uggs to replace the ones with holes in them, […]

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Too much connection, then too little: Rematch Again, Au Pair Asks?

by cv harquail November 20, 2017
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Dear AuPairMom, I am an Au Pair in the U.S and in my 3rd month right know. About 2 weeks ago I came from one state to a new one through rematch. My first situation wasn’t horrible. I just had a hard time connecting with the kids (7, 9, 12) and the host mom openly […]

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Could an Au Pair Bring Her Boyfriend With Her?

by cv harquail November 17, 2017
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Dear AuPairMom — I’m interested in being an Au Pair. I love children, I love traveling, I don’t mind going on journeys by myself and discovering new places, Au Pair seems like the perfect position for me to apply for. But (there is always a but), I am currently in a very serious relationship. We […]

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New Au Pair Has Already Invited Her Mom to Visit. For Two Weeks. In Our House.

by cv harquail October 22, 2017
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The situation below features an Au Pair who’s been quite presumptuous– inviting her mom to stay WITHOUT asking her Host Parents. I can’t even figure out how to set this post up nicely because this situation would have me fuming. As much as I want to be generous, and welcoming, I’ve found that having other […]

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Au Pair’s Attitude is a Downer: Can we get her to change?

by cv harquail October 18, 2017
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“A wet blanket” “Debbie Downer” “Sad Sack” “Uninspiring” What a drag to imagine these words characterizing your Au Pair. When an Au Pair has a “not optimistic” attitude towards the every day, it’s hard to imagine them adding to the family spirit rather than subtracting from it. Is it possible to get an Au Pair […]

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Support Gun Safety Legislation

by cv harquail October 4, 2017
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Dear Readers — A girlfriend reminded me this morning that, as a person who runs a website that reaches 16,000 people a month, I have a responsibility to use this platform wisely.  To promote community, to promote growth, to promote learning, to promote cross cultural understanding, and to promote safety. One of the most horrifying […]

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