Expectations & Responsibilities

When domestic travel is a part of the normal family rhythm how do you set yourself up for success?

by Texas HM November 20, 2018
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While working on an updated bropair post (still to come – email me if you host bropairs and don’t mind answering a few questions!) I got this email from a proactive host dad with an interesting scenario.  It is clear he has spent a lot of time thinking about how to set his family and […]

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How Long Must We House Our Au Pair Once Her Contract Ends?

by cv harquail July 29, 2017
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Dear AuPairMoms — We have an au pair who is done with her year.  She decided she wanted to do another year, but not with us.  (redacted/ edited at request of OP, on Aug 4) She found a match, but the new family doesn’t want her to arrive immediately after her contract with us ends.  So, […]

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First Time Host Mom Wonders: Are her Au Pair expectations realistic?

by cv harquail November 7, 2016
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A new Host Mom writes to share her frustration – and concern- about an Au Pair who doesn’t quite seem to fit. Are the mom’s expectations too high, she wonders? Or, Does she just have an Au Pair who needs (even) more direction and motivation? I’d like to think that I asked all the right […]

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Don’t Evaluate Your Au Pair’s Performance

by cv harquail October 5, 2016
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Occasionally I get emails from Host Parents wondering about “performance reviews” for au pairs.   These emails ask whether anyone has a form they might share that helps parents evaluate Au Pairs on their performance of specific tasks.  Or, they ask if we have a feedback tracking system, where parents can set goals for au pairs’ performance […]

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When a Host Family Doesn’t Keep Their Word, Get Ready To Rematch

by cv harquail September 1, 2016
au pair problems, au pair advice, choosing an au pair

When Au Pairs or Host Families have unique situations, it’s smart to negotiate ahead of time to be very, very, clear about what you need. Being specific about scheduled hours, transportation, unique food/nutrition needs, kid care tasks, and so on helps both parties make sure that they are finding the right match. This MastersStudentAuPair (whose […]

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Is An Au Pair Right For Your Family? Not if you need a Housekeeper …

by cv harquail August 22, 2016
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When people ask me whether an Au Pair might be right for them, I sometimes forget to ask them what kinds of help they *already* have, that they are aiming to replace. If a family currently uses a childcare center or a home-based center, then switching to an Au Pair offers more schedule flexibility, care […]

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How to Reduce the Costs of Having an Au Pair

by cv harquail July 23, 2016
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Parents who are researching childcare options for the first time invariably experience “sticker shock”. Who knew that a year of childcare in America could cost as much as a year at a good instate university? Whether childcare is provided by a retail day care center, a someone-else’s-home-based childcare center, a nanny, or an au pair, […]

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When & Why Do You Really Need an Au Pair Who Can Swim?

by cv harquail June 25, 2016
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A new host mom sent a long email about several challenges she’s experiencing with her Au Pair (and we’ll get to them in the next week or two). Her concern about her new Au Pair’s swimming skills stood out to me, maybe because my neighbors down the street — with a new au pair– have […]

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What Kinds of Relationships Do Au Pairs Want With Host Parents?

by cv harquail May 1, 2016
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There are many different types of equally good relationships that we host parents can have with our au pairs. Good host parent- au pair relationships can vary by — their level of intimacy (e.g., seriously close or pleasantly distant), — the amount of time we spend together (e.g., every waking moment or “I’m off duty, see you tomorrow, […]

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When the Cost of Rematch Seems Too High, but Your Au Pair Isn’t Working Out

by cv harquail March 3, 2016
au pair, host child, childcare

This brand new host mom, in a country without much of an Au Pairing culture, is trying hard. Despite her efforts, though, the combination of her Au Pair’s inexperience, lack of English skills, lies about driving, and basic attitude (not to mention, cultural differences between them) have led to an untenable situation. Worse still, it […]

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