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Being fair

Tim Gunn’s advice on breaking the rules

by cv harquail February 21, 2010

If you ask Tim Gunn for advice about breaking the rules, he’ll tell you two things: 1. Make it work, and 2. Use the Bluefly accessories wall thoughtfully. Both pieces of Tim Gunn’s advice to fashionistas apply to au pairs & host families. In general, I am black handbag = black shoes kind of person. [...]

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Extra Hours: What’s fair pay when you break this taboo?

by cv harquail February 13, 2010

Many parents find that 45 hours a week is not enough childcare. Either you have an emergency late night at work, a kid home sick, a snow day, or a bookclub meeting. Some parents have work + commute combos that mean they’re away from home 10 hours a day, m-f, even if they stagger their [...]

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Is Snooping in your Au Pair’s room ever okay?

by cv harquail February 6, 2010

I got an email from “Undercover Host Mom” — she is struggling with this dilemma: Although we have a strict and absolute non-smoking policy, and discussed this before we matched with our au pair, I have come to wonder whether she is smoking in our car and maybe even in the house. (It’s hard to [...]

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Moms & Au Pairs: Can I hold us to different tv rules?

by cv harquail February 4, 2010

I’m a believer that different members of a family have different privileges and responsibilities, depending on their roles and their ages. Parents have more privileges than do children, and employers have more privileges than do employees. The rules that we follow can be different, as long as they are fair. Nobody, and I mean nobody, [...]

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Protect Your Au Pair’s Off-Duty Time

by cv harquail January 11, 2010

Au Pairs work hard. When they are off duty, they need their downtime. But, if they’re good au pairs, your kids probably like them and enjoy spending time interacting with them. Kids don’t always know the difference between on-duty and off-duty, so it’s our job as host parents to help au pairs protect their downtime. [...]

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Share One Bit of Advice for a New Host Parent

by cv harquail December 30, 2009

By popular demand, here’s a challenge to all you host parents: Your challenge: Offer ONE, just one, thing you wish you knew when you became a host parent. If someone else has already offered your #1 bit of advice, go on to share your #2 bit of advice. Let’s rack ‘em up, parents. (Au pairs, [...]

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Temporary Eviction: Would you make your Au Pair stay somewhere else while you are on vacation?

by cv harquail December 17, 2009

Host parents, we got a request for advice from an au pair who is facing temporary eviction while her host parents are on vacation. The situation is a bit of an emergency, since the family is slated to leave within the week. Your ideas? Here’s the situation: Dear Au Pair Mom readers, I am an [...]

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Will your Au Pair be On Duty this Thanksgiving? (Poll)

by cv harquail November 22, 2009

Every holiday my DH and I have the same holiday conversation: Should we ask our Au Pair to be on duty? Scheduling your au pair to work on and around holidays, family vacations, and birthdays (yours and hers) can be challenging, because you’re once again right on top of the question– What does it mean [...]

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Share the Cream: Give your AP meaningful work to do

by cv harquail September 28, 2009

One piece of advice my friend Adelaide gave me when we got our first au pair was “Share the Cream.” “Sharing the Cream” means sharing both the good parts (the cream) as well as the tough parts of a job or an experience. I don’t know where Adelaide came up with this saying, but it’s [...]

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Who pays for what?

by cv harquail September 7, 2009

Sometimes the concept of treating an au pair like a ‘member of the family’ doesn’t give you enough guidance. This seems especially true when it comes to figuring out ‘who pays for what, when’. We got a request (using the Skribit feature) for a post that would heolp to establish some guidelines for this. I’ve [...]

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