From the category archives:

Being fair

Providing Your Au Pair With Safe, Affordable, Convenient Transportation

by cv harquail August 25, 2010

Here on AuPairMom we get a lot of questions about driving skills, driving privileges and managing cars. Behind all of these questions, like “who should pay for gas?” or “Avoiding a sense of entitlement” or “keeping track of car use“,  is one simple principle– Host parents must provide our au pairs with affordable, safe, and [...]

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When you initiate rematch, can you ask your Au Pair to leave immediately?

by cv harquail July 22, 2010

When you initiate rematch, can you ask your Au Pair to leave immediately? When this question popped up over the weekend, I shuddered. It brought me back instantly to our flame-out au pair, the one who announced on the last day of school that she wanted a rematch because she didn’t want to work weekends [...]

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What can an Au Pair expect from a Host Family?

by cv harquail May 3, 2010

In the mirror post to this one, we’re generating a list of ways that families interpret and execute the rules, but with the effect of having the au pair feel mistreated. Here on this page is our chance to list what an au pair can expect from a family when both the family and the [...]

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Locking the Refrigerator, and other ways to mistreat an Au Pair

by cv harquail May 3, 2010

Riffing on the post Do Au Pairs need a bill of rights? about Au Pairs and a domestic workers bill of rights, Dawn mentioned that A clear listing as to what kind of treatment is reasonable to expect would be very helpful in such circumstances. As one example, in a program where the AP expects [...]

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Au Pairs and Cell Phones: Concrete tips to hold down costs?

by cv harquail March 5, 2010

When a host mom emailed to ask for some specific suggestions around keeping the cost of cell phones down, I flinched. The whole cell phone thing, like recycling, is delegated in our house to my DH. Why? Because I just can’t stand to deal with it. Though I should deal with it, and stop avoiding [...]

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Tim Gunn’s advice on breaking the rules

by cv harquail February 21, 2010

If you ask Tim Gunn for advice about breaking the rules, he’ll tell you two things: 1. Make it work, and 2. Use the Bluefly accessories wall thoughtfully. Both pieces of Tim Gunn’s advice to fashionistas apply to au pairs & host families. In general, I am black handbag = black shoes kind of person. [...]

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Extra Hours: What’s fair pay when you break this taboo?

by cv harquail February 13, 2010

Many parents find that 45 hours a week is not enough childcare. Either you have an emergency late night at work, a kid home sick, a snow day, or a bookclub meeting. Some parents have work + commute combos that mean they’re away from home 10 hours a day, m-f, even if they stagger their [...]

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Is Snooping in your Au Pair’s room ever okay?

by cv harquail February 6, 2010

I got an email from “Undercover Host Mom” — she is struggling with this dilemma: Although we have a strict and absolute non-smoking policy, and discussed this before we matched with our au pair, I have come to wonder whether she is smoking in our car and maybe even in the house. (It’s hard to [...]

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Moms & Au Pairs: Can I hold us to different tv rules?

by cv harquail February 4, 2010

I’m a believer that different members of a family have different privileges and responsibilities, depending on their roles and their ages. Parents have more privileges than do children, and employers have more privileges than do employees. The rules that we follow can be different, as long as they are fair. Nobody, and I mean nobody, [...]

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Protect Your Au Pair’s Off-Duty Time

by cv harquail January 11, 2010

Au Pairs work hard. When they are off duty, they need their downtime. But, if they’re good au pairs, your kids probably like them and enjoy spending time interacting with them. Kids don’t always know the difference between on-duty and off-duty, so it’s our job as host parents to help au pairs protect their downtime. [...]

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