Being fair

Should I Tell the Other Host Family Their Au Pair Is Leaving Early? (Poll)

by cv harquail July 7, 2016
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Dear AuPairMom —  My au pair’s good friend here is an au pair as well. According to my AP, the friend is scheduled to work for her host family for a year but will be leaving a few weeks early. The problem? The Au Pair hasn’t told her Host Family that she’s leaving, even though […]

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Write Your Departing Au Pair A Decent Letter of Reference

by cv harquail April 5, 2016
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…as long as she wasn’t unsafe, devious, or truly dreadful. A Host Parent Letter of Reference Makes a Difference Whether it’s for an au pair extending with another family, rematching due to poor fit with you, or applying for a job, school program or other opportunity, a letter of reference helps your au pair document […]

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Single Host Mom with UnAppreciative Au Pair: Can This Relationship Be Saved?

by cv harquail January 23, 2016
au pair problems, au pair depressed

Dear Au Pair Mom Readers — I don’t know why I thought I was ready for this!! Friends of my parents have had wonderful experiences with their au pairs and I thought hosting an au pair would allow for my daughter to be at home another year while I returned to school. First, the positive: […]

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Should Au Pairs or Host Families Pay Extension Fees? (Poll)

by cv harquail November 2, 2015
amy gaines

TexasHM came across an interesting fact about extension application fees — it turns out, not all agencies automatically make these fees the responsibility of the Host Family. Depending on the practices of your particular Au Pair Agency, your family might choose to pay the fee yourself, split it with your Au Pair, or even have […]

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What’s Fair Pay for Au Pairs Outside the USA?

by cv harquail June 5, 2015
beach houses au pair assist site

Host Mom 4thTimeLucky?!   shared a really interesting and comprehensive recommendation for assessing Fair Pay for Au Pairs in unregulated  countries (aka countries without fully-regulated Au Pair programs).   The document was originally written and shared by Anja Kapelski. Anja runs Au Pair-Assist, an Australian Au Pair placement agency.   As 4thTimeLucky?!  writes:   The document tries to convey a realistic picture of […]

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When Your Au Pair Complains About A Fair Schedule

by cv harquail March 9, 2015
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File this under: “Grrrrrr.”  You are a lovely family with an adorable child.  You offer a reasonably cushy schedule to your au pair. Most days it’s 2 hours in the morning and 4- 4 1/2 in the afternoon/evening. You go out some weeks nights here and there, to book club or (gasp) to the gym.  And […]

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Which Au Pair Rules Feel Flexible?

by cv harquail February 4, 2015
breaking au pair rules

This is a companion post to “Which Host Family Rules Feel Flexible to Au Pairs?” Au Pair Program Rules are Great. One of the strongest elements of the US Au Pair Program is the framework created by the State Department rules.   These clear and specific boundaries around work hours and work responsibilities help US Host Parents and […]

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Teach Your Kids To Treat Your Au Pair With Respect

by cv harquail January 30, 2015
children rude to au pair

Here’s a host mom after my own heart. Why? Because her first thought after describing the problem is to ask what she might be doing to contribute to it. Not that I want host parents (or au pairs) to always shoulder the blame, but with all things social it’s the *relationship, the *context, and the […]

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Share The Fun and the Not-So-Fun with Your Au Pair

by cv harquail November 11, 2014
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Prompted by our conversation over the weekend about the au pair who was unhappy with the ratio of chores-to-child interaction in his work week, I’m reposting something from 2009: One super-helpful piece of advice my friend Adelaide gave me when we got our first au pair was “Be Sure to Share the Cream.” Share both […]

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Creepy, Crawly, Contagious Things- What if your Au Pair catches them too?

by cv harquail July 27, 2014
Gdaisy hair

(Reposted from our archives, since an Au Pair Asked…) When I became a mom I knew that that I would need to become accustomed to dealing with things that, pre-motherhood, had completely grossed me out. I’m talking about poopy diapers, vomit, bloody noses, fart jokes, and public belching. These were things that I would have […]

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