Comments on: Can this relationship be saved? “Uncomfortable” or something else?

By: Calif Mom

Calif Mom — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 13:40:53 +0000

Listen to your instincts. Say no. Find another family.

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By: Should be working

Should be working — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 20:26:54 +0000

My experience–with au pairs, students {I teach}, and acquaintances–is this: if something starts out weird, it will only get weirder. People show you who and how they are very quickly, sometimes, and it makes no sense to assume that you are mistaken when you get a weird vibe.

Definitely move on.

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By: ConcernedAuPair

ConcernedAuPair — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 17:11:37 +0000

Yes, I understand it’s quite silly of me even to think about going to this family..but he seemed so normal in other ways that it was just hard to admit that it’s too risky. I guess I have to forget about it and move on, I am sure I’ll find a family that causes no doubts Thank you everyone.

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By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 16:36:17 +0000

As they say in baseball ” Look em over “. You’ve looked this one over- let it pass. There are so many other opportunities : why even take a chance on this one ?

By: Dorsi

Dorsi — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 15:52:48 +0000

There is not much else to say. A single father (or married father) should never use the term “sexy” in communications with the au pair nor talk about her lingerie. It is nearly impossible for me to come up with an innocent motivation for this.

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By: Aria

Aria — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 15:34:52 +0000

Let’s be real. What do you think a single man asking about your underwear is interested in?

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By: ConcernedAuPair

ConcernedAuPair — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 15:31:36 +0000

Hello! Well I don’t really know where to write this, so I hope it’ll be okay if my problem is under that theme..
I am an au pair. The next family I am going to stay with consist of single father and a little daughter. I don’t have problem with this..what I do have problem with, is that the father is talking about quite private and weird things. I mean, there is a lot of word ‘sexy’ in his comments and everything. I don’t know how to take this. Maybe he is just trying to understand how open-minded I am? But my lingerie shouldn’t be any of his business.. he and his daughter seemed really really nice until this came up. I don’t know if I’ll be safe when I’ll go there. There is no agency, we met through internet site (we’re both in Europe). I looked at his Facebook to try to understand what kind of person he is and he seems okay. So my actual problem is, should I trust him? How far can anyone go with personal questions? When I told that I think it’s enough, he said okay and changed the subject. But still…I don’t know what to think. Hope you will give some advice.
ConcernedAuPair

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By: PNW-Mom

PNW-Mom — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 08:49:29 +0000

LOL, I told our LCC I thought our au pair has a mood disorder. She has been with us for 3 months, and is rude and dispectful towards me, yet, changes when my husband enters the room, to all smiles. Enough that our children notice, she is only happy when daddy is in the room. I can’t enjoy a year with bipolar au pair, let alone what the stress is doing to the kids.

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By: Jill

Jill — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 20:56:29 +0000

As an LCC, I think you might need to have a mediation with your AP. Sometimes hearing & talking about the issues with a 3rd party might help her to realize that there are issues. Sometimes AP’s are oblivious to how their behaviors affect others (part of being young I think). If you can all sit down and discuss the situation and come up with some ways to make changes, give her a few weeks to change her behaviors. If she doesn’t make an effort to fix the relationship, then I suggest a rematch. I always tell my HF and AP’s to never assume that someone knows what is bothering you. Give her an opportunity to hear the issues and address them first before you ask for a rematch right away.

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By: INCE Mom

INCE Mom — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 18:27:17 +0000

Just wanted to update you all….I truly have enjoyed everyones response to my situation. Yet again..it took a 180 degree turn.

My dear AP went away for the weekend…came back yesterday tickled pink, says she is going to take a trip to Europe in December and then..yes..wait for it…thinks she might want to extend for another 6 months!!

hello???is it just me or do we have some mood swings going on here? btw..I have NO intention of extending with her

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