Occasionally we get emails asking whether and how people who are not single and childless themselves can become au pairs.
I’m sure this happens because people don’t usually understand that — in the USA — an au pair position is more strictly defined than in other countries.
I’m not sure, though, whether being married or having a child legally prohibits a person from being an au pair (LCCs, do you know?).
But, I’m confident that 99.98% of host families want au pairs who are unmarried and childless.
Married couples (or engaged couples) cannot be “au pairs”.
Au pair positions in the USA are for one person at a time.
Even host families that need two au pairs at the same time don’t look for married or partnered ‘couples’, since the family has two au pairs usually to cover a work week that is more than 45 hours long. A couple working for a family who needs two au pairs would not be able to spend much if any of their off duty time together.
“Au Pair” positions are also usually for single (unmarried) people.
Host parents assume that au pairs are unmarried, because who’d leave her husband or his wife behind in another country while they are working in the USA? Plus, host parents are looking for au pairs who don’t have a Boyfriend Back Home or Girlfriend Back Home who they’d miss so much they’d be homesick and want to quit.
If you are a person from outside the USA and looking for a job for a couple, your best bet is to look for websites that link applicants with “households” seeking caretaker couples.
Applicants with a child or children of their own cannot be “au pairs”.
No au pair situation is set up for a person to care for host kids for 45 hours a week as well as look after a child of their own. Host families don’t usually have the bedroom or private space for more than the one adult (au pair). Plus, many host parents frankly don’t want an au pair who has such an important other commitment right here with him/her in the USA.
If you are a person with a child looking to come with your child to the USA to work as a childcare provider, and live-in with a family, your best bet is to look for Nanny websites. There is a much wider range of family and parent situations among people looking for Nannies. If you are a person who is older than 25, or married, or with a child of your own, you are more likely to find a family to hire you as a Nanny than as an au pair.
Readers, if you have ideas for where people who are not single and/or childless might look for legal childcare positions in the USA, please add them to the comments, below.
Would you ever consider an au pair applicant who had his/her own child, or who was married?
Here’s the email that prompted our post:
I am having really big difficulties in finding a family. I am in an enduring and happy couple with my fiancé (from 8 years) and we are both 23, skilled, experienced, organized and all that a very laaaaaaaaaaaaaarge family with a lot of pets or a farm could ask. Not a pair of hands, but two pairs.
I made different profiles on different sites of different many countries. But on almost of them there is not a space only for couples.We are registered on lot of sites and made a lot of different researches on google. There are really few spaces for couples but it seems like somebody would need such a help. The most are surely single au pairs and families on every site (and it is ok) but couple sites are dedicated almost for house management/ big households etc.
May be it does not exist?
… We are looking forward to find and cuddle other’s babies like they would be ours – until we can expect a good life for ours. If happens to you to hear about some large and noisy full of children/pets family, we will be eternally grateful to you.
Thank you for any advice, I will be very thankful, Best regards, AT from Italy
Image: “Many Kisses” in Italian – “tanti baci”. Available on Etsy from TheWhiteSpace shop