Comments on: Birth Control and Your Au Pair http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/ Helping Host Parents and Au Pairs build great relationships. Mon, 21 May 2012 14:25:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Martin Jones http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-15140 Martin Jones Sun, 12 Dec 2010 03:25:35 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/#comment-15140 This comment has been deleted. Thanks to Shayna who alerted me, via email, while I was off enjoying Christmas shopping at the mall. ! ... Sorry to the folks who were disturbed. cv This comment has been deleted. Thanks to Shayna who alerted me, via email, while I was off enjoying Christmas shopping at the mall. ! … Sorry to the folks who were disturbed. cv

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]]> By: cv harquail http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-11193 cv harquail Thu, 01 Jul 2010 00:25:48 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/#comment-11193 Oh my gosh. I think that conversation would have been outside my comfort zone, even though I'm the person who says we all should be ready to have that talk! She's lucky to have you. cv Oh my gosh. I think that conversation would have been outside my comfort zone, even though I’m the person who says we all should be ready to have that talk! She’s lucky to have you. cv

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]]> By: MommyMia http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-11188 MommyMia Wed, 30 Jun 2010 21:06:12 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/#comment-11188 Kudos to you for being a great host mom and stand-in mom! Would that everyone would be so open and take the lead in getting her some obviously much-needed help. I think the AuPair agencies ought to include information about Planned Parenthood at the orientation, for just such "emergencies," as I'm sure this is a common occurrence with APs. Kudos to you for being a great host mom and stand-in mom! Would that everyone would be so open and take the lead in getting her some obviously much-needed help. I think the AuPair agencies ought to include information about Planned Parenthood at the orientation, for just such “emergencies,” as I’m sure this is a common occurrence with APs.

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]]> By: Should be working http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-11179 Should be working Wed, 30 Jun 2010 18:58:34 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/#comment-11179 I looked up this old post, because now here I am, making an appt at Planned Parenthood for my AP (haven't been there since I was a teen myself!). She confided in me about an episode of unprotected sex, and since then I have in gently talking with her realized that she has been sexually active for a few years, has never been to an ob-gyn, and is not entirely clear on sex ed and contraception info (e.g. 'pulling out' as a birth control method--yikes!). I am SO glad I can let the professionals deal with the counseling/education aspects here. I told her the basics, but I figure they'll cover everything important in the appt. I haven't donated to Planned Parenthood in years, but I will start again. I looked up this old post, because now here I am, making an appt at Planned Parenthood for my AP (haven’t been there since I was a teen myself!).

She confided in me about an episode of unprotected sex, and since then I have in gently talking with her realized that she has been sexually active for a few years, has never been to an ob-gyn, and is not entirely clear on sex ed and contraception info (e.g. ‘pulling out’ as a birth control method–yikes!).

I am SO glad I can let the professionals deal with the counseling/education aspects here. I told her the basics, but I figure they’ll cover everything important in the appt. I haven’t donated to Planned Parenthood in years, but I will start again.

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]]> By: María http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-4656 María Fri, 04 Dec 2009 04:26:03 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/#comment-4656 I am 26 and even having a good relation with my HM, I would never ask her where I can get a Plan B!! I have occasionally sex with a few boys and I get the pills by myself, and I found out about the pill here because in my country doesn't sale it. Also, my HM knows I am dating someone and she ask me what we did, she mentioned about the rule of the 3 dates but never really explained, and I always skip that part, if she thinks I am doing it or not, I don't know, but we never speak about sex. I just think I don't want her to ask me if I had sex last night and use a condom, as she doesn't want me to ask her, if she had sex with the HF! I am 26 and even having a good relation with my HM, I would never ask her where I can get a Plan B!! I have occasionally sex with a few boys and I get the pills by myself, and I found out about the pill here because in my country doesn’t sale it. Also, my HM knows I am dating someone and she ask me what we did, she mentioned about the rule of the 3 dates but never really explained, and I always skip that part, if she thinks I am doing it or not, I don’t know, but we never speak about sex. I just think I don’t want her to ask me if I had sex last night and use a condom, as she doesn’t want me to ask her, if she had sex with the HF!

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]]> By: AnonymousHostMom http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-4652 AnonymousHostMom Thu, 03 Dec 2009 21:06:29 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/#comment-4652 Thank you, AP2005, for reiterating what we host moms are trying to get across to some of our APs! And yes, we were surprised to find out from a neighbor after a previous AP had left that apparently she was having sex in her room - at least there was an unknown male visiting while we were away on vacation - strictly against our rules and very scary when we found out. It was pretty obvious to me that there had been some heavy-duty activity going on when my grandmother's bed in the AP's room ended up broken, though she denied up and down that she had caused it! Thank you, AP2005, for reiterating what we host moms are trying to get across to some of our APs! And yes, we were surprised to find out from a neighbor after a previous AP had left that apparently she was having sex in her room – at least there was an unknown male visiting while we were away on vacation – strictly against our rules and very scary when we found out. It was pretty obvious to me that there had been some heavy-duty activity going on when my grandmother’s bed in the AP’s room ended up broken, though she denied up and down that she had caused it!

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]]> By: Ap 2005 http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-4647 Ap 2005 Thu, 03 Dec 2009 14:21:16 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/#comment-4647 Dear Host moms & au-pairs to be I think its important that you give THE TALK to your AP. They don't get it at orrentation, they just tell you not to trust guys! When I was an AP one Turkish AP got pregnant and had to go for an abortion, it was a rough time for her and we couldnt do anything to help her, and not just one but a few girls that was my friends in a small town went to buy tests at random times. I think this is a serious thing (some might not think so). Just bring in strict rules, like I had! I think it was awesome to have rules and to respect you host parents wishes, (one Fact most of the girls had sex in their own rooms, Surprised? dont be)NO BOYS in the house, no matter what the age of the AP, and always let you HP have a number of the guy you going out with. (I respected the wishes of my HP when I was there, APs its not that difficult). AP2005 Dear Host moms & au-pairs to be
I think its important that you give THE TALK to your AP. They don’t get it at orrentation, they just tell you not to trust guys! When I was an AP one Turkish AP got pregnant and had to go for an abortion, it was a rough time for her and we couldnt do anything to help her, and not just one but a few girls that was my friends in a small town went to buy tests at random times. I think this is a serious thing (some might not think so). Just bring in strict rules, like I had! I think it was awesome to have rules and to respect you host parents wishes, (one Fact most of the girls had sex in their own rooms, Surprised? dont be)NO BOYS in the house, no matter what the age of the AP, and always let you HP have a number of the guy you going out with. (I respected the wishes of my HP when I was there, APs its not that difficult).
AP2005

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]]> By: AnonymousHostMom http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-4430 AnonymousHostMom Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:51:04 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/#comment-4430 I know 2 LCCs that I can say with 99% certainty will NOT be having The Talk with their girls. (It would be fun to suggest it, just to see their reactions!) Anyway, less than half our group even attend the meetings, even when told it's mandatory, like for H1N1 education! Too bad, because it would be a great health & safety topic, as you say. I know 2 LCCs that I can say with 99% certainty will NOT be having The Talk with their girls. (It would be fun to suggest it, just to see their reactions!) Anyway, less than half our group even attend the meetings, even when told it’s mandatory, like for H1N1 education! Too bad, because it would be a great health & safety topic, as you say.

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]]> By: PA aupair mom http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-4427 PA aupair mom Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:21:06 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/#comment-4427 Great idea about asking your LCC to address the topic. That way the girls, and guys, get the education they may need and we don't have to feel intrusive or like we are micromanaging. What a wonderful topic suggestion for their monthly meeting. Great idea about asking your LCC to address the topic. That way the girls, and guys, get the education they may need and we don’t have to feel intrusive or like we are micromanaging. What a wonderful topic suggestion for their monthly meeting.

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]]> By: My 2 cents http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-4423 My 2 cents Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:06:04 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/birth-control-and-your-au-pair/2009/11/05/celiaharquail/#comment-4423 I see your side too and it makes a ton of sense. And it's terrific that you have such a close relationship with your APs that you can have a solid conversation. Speaks volumes about your abilities to both manage and have a special connection (Oh, no, another flashback to every cheezy episode on The Bachelor). While I've had very positive relationships with our APs, I find that it works better for me in managing the APs generally to have a bit of distance and that's probably factoring into my decisionmaking as well. So, for me, unless the AP asked me about this stuff, or I was confronted with it in some other way, there would be no segue for me to introduce the topic without it coming across as Sex Ed 101, no matter how nicely and unintrusively I tried to package the message. And, there is no getting around that it is an intensely personal subject when coming from you to your AP, even if packaged in say the third person or given with the disclaimer that it's not meant to be a lecture or a judgment of the AP. It just now strikes me that this is a topic I can at least pawn off to my area manager since she is charged specifically with addressing healthy and safety issues in her meetings. Knowing her directness she probably already has. I see your side too and it makes a ton of sense. And it’s terrific that you have such a close relationship with your APs that you can have a solid conversation. Speaks volumes about your abilities to both manage and have a special connection (Oh, no, another flashback to every cheezy episode on The Bachelor). While I’ve had very positive relationships with our APs, I find that it works better for me in managing the APs generally to have a bit of distance and that’s probably factoring into my decisionmaking as well. So, for me, unless the AP asked me about this stuff, or I was confronted with it in some other way, there would be no segue for me to introduce the topic without it coming across as Sex Ed 101, no matter how nicely and unintrusively I tried to package the message. And, there is no getting around that it is an intensely personal subject when coming from you to your AP, even if packaged in say the third person or given with the disclaimer that it’s not meant to be a lecture or a judgment of the AP.

It just now strikes me that this is a topic I can at least pawn off to my area manager since she is charged specifically with addressing healthy and safety issues in her meetings. Knowing her directness she probably already has.

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