Birth Control and Your Au Pair

by cv harquail on November 5, 2009

I wasn’t really ready to blog about this particular topic, even though it’s on the list of 378 topics I brainstormed 18 months ago… We got an anonymous comment on a different post that raised the issue… so here we are. It can’t be any harder to blog about than it is to do!

You may need to provide your au pair with information about birth control.

Sometimes, you’ll get an au pair who is sexually active, or who becomes sexually active during her year in the USA. She will need birth control, or plain ole good luck, if she does not want to become pregnant.

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She may need your help to find safe, affordable birth control counseling and methods. You might want to make yourself aware of the local women’s clinic or Planned Parenthood, so that you can refer your au pair to these resources.

You may also need to bring up the subject with her, because she may not feel comfortable raising the issue with you.

I learned that some au pairs get birth control pill prescriptions before they come to the USA, just in case. They may tell you that it’s to control their acne, or their moods, or terrible cramps, or whatever. Also, getting a year’s supply in her home country is a lot cheaper!

However, many au pairs don’t ‘think ahead’. Many of them simply don’t expect to become sexually active. They may have a boyfriend back home.  And then, things change. Then, your au pair might need some advice, recommendations, or referrals.  From you. The grown up. The parent.

Going out on a limb here:

I also recommend that, if you have any idea that your au pair is having a social life, you have a version of “The Talk” with your au pair.

Here’s why:

  • You cannot be sure that she has accurate information about birth control.
  • More important, you cannot be sure that she has accurate information about HIV. She may need you to direct her towards accurate information.

With a few of our au pairs, I have found it necessary to have “The Talk”.

Yes, it was awkward. Yes, it was hard to manage the line between caring and violating her privacy. Yes, it was easier to have “The Talk” after one of the au pairs in the cluster got pregnant.

I also found it necessary to talk with a few of our au pairs about “american guys”. When we lived in a college town our stunningly tall & blonde AP got hit on by a lot of guys who made lots of sweet promises to her.

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She found all the attention confusing, and she was naive about what the come-ons were about. I could not believe I was having to tell her about frat parties and why she might want to avoid them, to explain date rape, and to teach her to feel comfortable that “no means no”. I wasn’t ready to be that much of an adult, that much of a parent, or that intimate in my relationship with her.

But I took a deep breath, and brought up the subject. She appreciated it, and told me she felt cared about.

Also consider: Your beliefs and your au pair’s beliefs may likely be quite different, not only due to age/experience differences but also religious and cultural ones. You many disagree on whether or not bc is ethical or religiously appropriate, whether the ‘plan b’ pill is contraception or an abortifacient, or whether an unmarried woman should even be socially active, and so on. The point here is not to suggest that you press your values on her, but rather that you create a space to offer support proactively.The challenge is to find a way to do this that bridges these differences. You don’t have to take this on, but you might want to.

A great way to avoid sad outcomes is to prevent them with a little advice and direction.

Your thoughts?

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{ 50 comments }

NewHostMomtoBe November 5, 2009 at 4:36 pm

Wow! Thanks for posting this.. I just somehow didn’t even think about this. lol Has anyone else really had to have ‘the talk” and/or your AP has gotten pregnant? Is this common? I guess it is like ‘part of the family” as another child. Hmmm… more to think about.

SeaMom November 5, 2009 at 4:45 pm

After I accepted one of our past AP’s they were “talking with our current AP and raised the BC question with the current AP. Bottom line she wanted to know if it would be ok to bring her’s with? The current AP asked me what I thought. At first I was a bit shocked, but recovered quickly and said by all means she needed to stay safe! I made a point when the AP arrived outlining my rules for guest sleepovers, specifically male (not allowed and not allowed in the AP’s room). I did this twice to make sure it was clear and then let it go. I always review this with all the AP’s. As far as having the discussion, never had to bring it up but if I had to I would be comfortable doing it. I know the one AP mentioned above did visit a Planned Parenthood while she was here also, she found all the info herself though. Again, I feel all this is just going to make me a better parent to my soon to be teenager, and makes me remember I had wished I had been told much more on this subject by my mom many years ago! I would much rather “practise” the conversation on my AP then get it all “wrong” with my daughter!

TX Mom November 5, 2009 at 4:58 pm

Thanks for the post, CV. It’s reassuring to know that I’m not the only HM. :)

With my first AP, my LCC was the own who encouraged me to have the talk – when the BBH made arrangements to visit. I was so relieved she mentioned the elephant in the room! Of course, every AP/HM has a different relationship so the comfort level is different, but I’ve had to address this topic with every AP.

CV November 5, 2009 at 5:38 pm

And here I thought I was the only host mom who worried enough about this to poke her nose into the situation. Glad to know (1) that I’m not alone in this concern and (2) that other host parents are taking similar initiative.
Geez it can be awkward though!

franzi November 5, 2009 at 5:23 pm

ABSOLUTELY have this talk when your AP goes on dates! you will not believe how many girls have no clue or are afraid to ask anything about birth control, dating rules, etc!

planned parenthood is a great source to get information from. i think they even teach you how to “have the talk”.

our counselor actually talked about dating rules, that knock-out stuff guys put in your drinks etc. very important to pass on this info!

CV November 5, 2009 at 5:40 pm

Franzi,
Speaking of the date-rape drug, my friend’s au pair actually had that happen to her! I will blog about it soon…. she ended up safe, thank goodness. But we were all more alert after that.
Who knew PP had info on how to give the talk! I’d just have googled it….

maleaupairmommy November 5, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Don’t forget the guys too. My guys are usually 21 and over so we talk briefly about condom use and where they get them etc. If I ever get an 18 year old au pair there I will make sure he knows about age difference and it’s best to stick with his age and older etc. I had to do this with an exchange student once when I found condoms while cleaning his bathroom. My husband was too embarassed. I was like please I can deal with that part I can’t deal with him going to jail and getting in trouble for something that is normal in his country. In many latin countries guys date much younger girls or at least they did when I lived in Venezuela.

CV November 5, 2009 at 5:42 pm

MAPM, thanks for bringing up the manny side of the issue. If we could just get all men to think that condoms were cool, we could eliminate both STD and pregnancy worries. So good for your for starting ‘at home’.
My DH has followed up my talks about ‘american guys’ with his own riff on the subject, so that our au pairs don’t think it’s just me being cranky. Or overprotective.

Calif Mom November 5, 2009 at 9:01 pm

The talk of BCPs being ‘enough’ scares me. There are so many pathogens I mean reasons why the girls should be carrying condoms! Not just pregnancy here, folks. HIV, CMV, gonorrhea, syphilis (yes, syphilis — it’s baaack!).

Check out cdc.gov and recoil in horror. Birth control is important, don’t get me wrong — and no one ever said that improving moods or acne was a bad idea! — but thinking only about pregnancy really isn’t going far enough.

Have them watch the last season of “Entourage” :-)

Ellie November 6, 2009 at 8:28 am

Absolutely agree, the girls should know about STIs and be carrying condoms. Especially with all that HPV going around. Nothing could put a stain on an AP year better than a bout of cervical cancer… =/

Darthastewart November 5, 2009 at 11:25 pm

We had a male au-pair who was quite the casanova. Found a large box of condoms in the glove box of the car. He ended up leaving before I got up the nerve to discuss with him that maybe heat and condoms don’t mix.

I’ve had the discussion with a couple of girls too. Oh the joys.

anti-estrogen-mom November 6, 2009 at 1:34 pm

Frankly, I’d prefer that the au pair agencies and LCC discuss this issue with the au pairs. I’ve noticed our au pairs leave their BCP’s lying around their room…so know they use them. While we are hosting her, I’m not her mom, and a discussion of birth control is absolutely not my responsibility. We have house rules about bringing boys over to spend the night, etc – but I am not in a position to give her advice on what she should do with/to her body- whether she wants to use BCP or condoms, have one-night stands, get seriously involved, or have an American-citizen baby. They do get the safe sex talk at orientation, in the written materials they receive from their au pair agencies, etc.

CV November 6, 2009 at 2:08 pm

A-E-M,
I wasn’t aware that they get a safe sex talk at orientation…or in written materials. Is this the case across agencies, does anyone know?
We can chalk the talk up as another one of those things that highlights differences in the location of the line between ‘part of the family’ and ’employee’.

Ap 2005 December 3, 2009 at 10:21 am

Dear Host moms & au-pairs to be
I think its important that you give THE TALK to your AP. They don’t get it at orrentation, they just tell you not to trust guys! When I was an AP one Turkish AP got pregnant and had to go for an abortion, it was a rough time for her and we couldnt do anything to help her, and not just one but a few girls that was my friends in a small town went to buy tests at random times. I think this is a serious thing (some might not think so). Just bring in strict rules, like I had! I think it was awesome to have rules and to respect you host parents wishes, (one Fact most of the girls had sex in their own rooms, Surprised? dont be)NO BOYS in the house, no matter what the age of the AP, and always let you HP have a number of the guy you going out with. (I respected the wishes of my HP when I was there, APs its not that difficult).
AP2005

AnonymousHostMom December 3, 2009 at 5:06 pm

Thank you, AP2005, for reiterating what we host moms are trying to get across to some of our APs! And yes, we were surprised to find out from a neighbor after a previous AP had left that apparently she was having sex in her room – at least there was an unknown male visiting while we were away on vacation – strictly against our rules and very scary when we found out. It was pretty obvious to me that there had been some heavy-duty activity going on when my grandmother’s bed in the AP’s room ended up broken, though she denied up and down that she had caused it!

Tanja November 6, 2009 at 3:41 pm

Planned Parenthood was passing out the PlanB pill so I picked one up. I gave it to our AP while keeping things light by saying “Hey, it was free.” and then following up with
– What it was for and how to use it
– “Did you even know there was such a pill available? Do you have this in your country? What are some of the ways women in your country prevent unwanted pregnancy? (You may be surprised at the response)”
– You may never have a reson to use this and that’s ok too
– I will never ask you if you used it
– A friend may need it and now you can respond quickly
– Leave it in your room when you move out so the next AP can have it if you don’t use it. (HM get a new pill for the next girl and mention that if she found the old one to throw it out because it may be expired.)
– If she ever wanted more information on the subject then I am available and will keep our discussions confidential.

Similar to another posted comment, I can handle (and have time for) the “talk” more than the possible consiquences of not having the talk.

Please make a donation to Planned Parenthood. Just look at how many of us have mentioned this organization. The services of Planned Parenthood need to continue.

Should be working June 30, 2010 at 2:58 pm

I looked up this old post, because now here I am, making an appt at Planned Parenthood for my AP (haven’t been there since I was a teen myself!).

She confided in me about an episode of unprotected sex, and since then I have in gently talking with her realized that she has been sexually active for a few years, has never been to an ob-gyn, and is not entirely clear on sex ed and contraception info (e.g. ‘pulling out’ as a birth control method–yikes!).

I am SO glad I can let the professionals deal with the counseling/education aspects here. I told her the basics, but I figure they’ll cover everything important in the appt. I haven’t donated to Planned Parenthood in years, but I will start again.

MommyMia June 30, 2010 at 5:06 pm

Kudos to you for being a great host mom and stand-in mom! Would that everyone would be so open and take the lead in getting her some obviously much-needed help. I think the AuPair agencies ought to include information about Planned Parenthood at the orientation, for just such “emergencies,” as I’m sure this is a common occurrence with APs.

cv harquail June 30, 2010 at 8:25 pm

Oh my gosh. I think that conversation would have been outside my comfort zone, even though I’m the person who says we all should be ready to have that talk! She’s lucky to have you. cv

Mary November 6, 2009 at 3:44 pm

My 26 yr old au pair (from a Latin American country with a strong Catholic population) did become pregnant from her long term boyfriend, didn’t tell me and then had an abortion the week before we all went to Miami on Spring Break. When she realized that I had figured it out by accident from the autofill search history on the kids’ computer, she packed up and left while I was at work before I had a chance to talk to her. I wish I had said something while they were dating (they spent every weekend at his house with him and his roommates) but I assumed–wrongly– from her age that she knew what she was doing. I feel terrible now knowing that she was on vacation with us only a few days after the abortion with no one to talk to. She spent most of the time on her computer and in her room, which fortunately she was not sharing with the kids. Then, there was the child care crisis to deal with, as well as two crying young (4 & 6) who didn’t understand why she didn’t say good-bye. No matter how difficult, this is a topic I discuss with every au pair now.

TX Mom November 6, 2009 at 4:49 pm

Wow. That story is heartbreaking.

I agree, having “the talk” is better than the alternatives. Hopefully I’ll be more skilled when I have the discussion with my own daughter, too.

anti-estrogen-mom November 6, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Wow, really? How do you think your au pair’s mom would feel if she knew you were giving her daughter the Plan B pill? You don’t know, do you? I don’t think any of us should force our values on an au pair. Referring the au pair to an organization that presents all alternatives is ok, but advocating a certain method crosses an ethical line, I think.

Ellie November 6, 2009 at 4:24 pm

I don’t really think giving her an option is forcing ones values. It’s just giving an option. If she’s mature enough to have sex she’s mature enough to know what’s out there to protect herself. Tanjas post [did not say] the AP HAD to use it, or anything remotely like that. Just that, if it came up and was the direction she wanted to go in, it’s available. Her post implies (as I read it at least,) that the APs are fully able to toss it in the trash if thats how their values lean.

PA au pair mom November 7, 2009 at 9:13 am

She didn’t make her take the pill. She just put the information out there and made it a viable alternative.

I know that I would rather someone provide my child with this kind of information than call me and tell me that my child has had an abortion or is pregnant.

I don’t think anyone was pushing a value system. If you are over 18 you can buy Plan B at any pharmacy and you don’t even need a prescription.

By the way, Planned Parenthood offers contraception, counseling, Plan B, abortions and manyother services.

Anonymous November 6, 2009 at 4:15 pm

Did anyone watch the recent episode of Mad Men where
sleazy, weasel Peter Campbell takes advantage of an aupair in
his apartment building ? Several friends of mine called me and asked if I had seen it. The aupair’s host father was nothing to write home about either. His whole attitude was ” Stay away from her because this is the first person who can get along with my wife . ” The whole thing was AWFUL.

CV November 6, 2009 at 4:24 pm

That episode demonstrated how some men (like Peter) take advantage of women from other cultural and class backgrounds, which was one thing I talked about with some of our APs. On top of that, put the sick stereotype of APs as hotties out for fun, and you can see why one might want to advise an AP about attitudes of men who’ve had too much to drink and not enough life education.

'sota gal November 6, 2009 at 5:00 pm

I didn’t think about having the talk with our last AP until it was too late. By the point we had “the talk” with her we were also releasing her due to under age drinking, lying to us and calling our family and friends (who witnessed the under age drinking and her hooking up with some random guy at a party) liars. She did a GREAT job of hiding every thing from us until her last escapade at a family party. After she was gone I found out that she thought she was pregnant 3 times while she was with us…in 5 months. I’m 38 with 3 kids and have also thought I was pregnant 3 times, and two of those times I was.

The positive side to this is that it has given me a great launching board with our new AP to start the conversations of what is/isn’t ok, BC options and house rules. With the other 2 I had only talked about house rules. Live and learn.

Calif Mom November 7, 2009 at 10:32 am

Wow, ‘sota gal.

I’m thinking that even if you had had a talk with this AP, it would not have changed her behavior. Truly, at bottom we cannot make them make choices–good bad or otherwise. Just provide information. The values thing is something we can model, but not really influence, since they ARE young adults.

This whole string reminds me that truly, the brain does not fully mature until *somewhere around* 25, on average. There are extremely responsible 18 year olds, and flaky as a biscuit 27 year olds, but it just goes to show this hosting is a real leap of faith!

franzi November 6, 2009 at 6:02 pm

while i agree with AEM that you should not force your values on the AP (enforce condom use OR enforce abstinence), i think it is important to note that even though you have an educated, all grown up girl/guy who think they know what they’re doing are being thrown into a dating culture that can be very different from what they are used to. and the american sweet talk can easily make one weak in the knees when you’re used to a slower “friends first” approach to things.

personally, i don’t agree with providing the planB pill. it could encourage the wrong behavior because, you know, the “help” is already waiting in their bathroom. however, i would stress that if the AP thinks she is pregnant i will drive her to planned parenthood (day or night) to support her.

also the 3 dates rule is something that many don’t know (or wrongly assume that it’s a must). the no means no was already mentioned.

i believe it’s better to have the talk (even though you assume that the AP knows it all) is better than having to explain to your kids why your AP is suddenly leaving. as soon as the agency finds out the AP is pregnant she’s out of the program and you are out of childcare!

regarding the talk at orientation, at my orientation it was a 5 minute thing. and with so many people in the room there is no way you can cover std’s, hiv, date rape etc.

Au Pair soon November 7, 2009 at 12:13 am

How do people feel about au pairs on contraceptive pills for health reasons? I will be an au pair soon, and am 18. I am on the pill and have been for 4 years, I am not sexually active, but require the pill for other reasons. Nothing serious, just menstrual control after having bad pains etc. I was planning on getting a years prescription from my dr. Should I talk to my host mum or just say nothing? It was on my health form..

Calif Mom November 7, 2009 at 10:34 am

No worries! I think it’s okay, many au pairs-to be have this on their medical forms. Better to discuss it, probably, but I would only talk about it when you are VERY close to matching, just to be clear about how you feel about dating, parties, etc.

Darthastewart November 7, 2009 at 1:37 am

Most of my au-pairs have been on the pill for similar reasons. One of my best au-pairs said her cramps were debilitating, and that’s why she was on the pill. I don’t know why you should have to bring it up with your HM. None of mine ever have- although I can usually figure it out.

Busy Mom November 12, 2009 at 11:39 pm

I agree that there’s no reason you need to mention that you’re on the pill. I have counseled my au pairs to bring a supply of any prescription medicines with them, but haven’t asked specific questions about those meds. I do ask about health conditions, but personally wouldn’t consider being on the pill to regulate period/cramps a “condition.” However, if you’re asked specifically about any medicatons you are on, you should answer truthfuly.

Anonymous November 7, 2009 at 2:12 pm

Does anyone know if it is legal to send birth control pills through the mail ? A past aupair had her mother send a batch.
I cannot imagine asking my own mother to do that when I was her age but everyone is different. The safety of my aupair is my main concern. This girl also received vitamins in the mail.
I am not sure of the legality of this. I like to walk a straight and narrow path when it comes to things like this.

PA au pair mom November 7, 2009 at 3:21 pm

It is legal to send medications through the mail as long as the intended recipient has a valid prescription for them and they are for the intended’s use only. Example: her mother can send her birth control pills but couldn’t send them to a friend as well.

Vitamins aren’t highly regulated, so sending them shouldn’t really be an issue.

My biggest concern with sending medications would be temperature regulation during transport. Most medications should not be exposed to extreme cold or extreme heat.

Jess November 8, 2009 at 12:56 am

I am a soon-to-be Au Pair, and I find this website really great because it gives the opinion of the host family, and I am learning what makes a great Au Pair, and what doesn’t.

When I leave my home country, I will be taking the BC pill with me, and not because I am sexually active, but because I have been on it for the past year for period control.

If my host family finds it, will they just assume I’m planning on being sexually active? Because that is not at all the case…

franzi November 8, 2009 at 10:24 am

i don’t think your host family should be able to find your BC (or any other medication) just like that. because that means your host kids can find them, too!

medication should be safely stored away out of the kids reach and not taken in front of them. they might think it’s candy.

so think carefully where you can store them (not the nightstand, not the bathroom sink etc)

MommyMia November 8, 2009 at 9:05 pm

Great point, Franzi. I was appalled to find all sorts of medications and caustic hair & nail products in a previous AP’s room within easy reach of my preschooler, despite out having asked her to put them up in a cupboard out of reach. Then with another, we saw a giant economy size (empty) box of condoms in our recycling bin (hey, at least she knew to put the cardboard in with the recyclables!) and later an empty Plan B package. Since she was nearly in rematch by that point, for many reasons, I didn’t have any talk with her, as we weren’t very close, and she’d made it clear many times how close she and her mom supposedly are/were, so I figured that was mom’s job (although I seriously doubt that mom knows much about the AP’s “real” behavior when she was off duty!) Although I have no moral objection to abortion, I do have a problem with hypocritical practicing Catholics who don’t follow their church’s teachings regarding promiscuity and birth control/abortions. I think it’s great that this site is addressing this, and it’s good to know that so many HMs are being proactive – their APs are lucky!

Calif Mom November 8, 2009 at 10:39 pm

Excellent point.

To Jess the new AP–no, I don’t think it means a host will assume you are less than genuine about why you have BCP. Many people use them to regulate cycles. I knew a doctor who believed that there is no reason for any woman to have to deal with periods, that every woman who can be on BCP (no risk of blood clots, for example, in the family, not a smoker, etc) would be healthier (less anemia, foul moods, and so forth). Not sure I agree with that doctor, but in the US many people are on BCP who are not ‘party girls’!

NewAP Mom November 9, 2009 at 1:43 am

To the APs who were worried – as a host mom I would never make assumptions, nor be upset, at anyone taking birth control or owning condoms. I have endometriosis so totally understand that people take BCP for period control. Also, responsible sex is so much better than irresponsible sex!

Anonymous November 9, 2009 at 8:47 am

You need to be careful in assuming that your AP doesn’t need the talk. Even at 23, my previous AP (sexually active back home) had no idea about STIs or birth control. And my current one (20) is not much better. Maybe German or British APs are educated in modern medicine, but most of the developing world’s population has no idea that sex can give you cancer (HPV) that OCPs are safe and effective, that you can still get Herpes if you use a condom, etc.

aria November 13, 2009 at 7:40 am

Just my two cents here… I’m an au pair, I’m 18, and I would mortified/offended/really turned off if my host family tried discussing MY sex life. That’s completely private and whether or not they take birth control/ use condoms/ get pregnant then have an abortion…. maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think that’s the host family’s business. I can’t imagine a boss in corporate America having The Talk with his/her employees!

If I was a host mother, I would never assume an au pair knew more/less about sex/STIs based on where she was from. Colombian or German, it’s private!!

PA aupair mom November 13, 2009 at 9:52 am

Personally, I don’t care if my au pair is having sex….just as long as I know that I have done everything in my power to make sure she is being safe. I talk to her about driving safety. Why not safe sex?

I am a healthcare provider and I see daily what effects unprotected and irresponsible sex have on young men and women. I would talk to my boys about sex and I also talk to the au pairs.

I don’t ask her if she is having sex or with whom. It is more informational.

My 2 cents November 13, 2009 at 10:16 am

As a HM, I’m with Aria. While I completely understand and agree with sex education as the best preventative measure against disease, unwanted pregnancy, and the rest, I’m very uncomfortable and feel I’m crossing a boundary if I raise the issue with my AP out of the blue. (Now, if she came to me, or if I found things lying around in full view, then yeah, I’d address it, but otherwise no.) I shudder to think of any of my employers when I was young and single approaching me on the topic. Frankly, I’d be not only embarrassed but offended by the assumption that (a) I’m having sex, and (b) I’m ignorant, too lazy, or need or want that talking to. Granted, an AP relationship is not the same as the standard employer-employee relationship in the least, but it’s not close enough for me to assume what I consider a parental or parochial role either.

PA aupair mom November 13, 2009 at 10:27 am

My2cents….I completely see what you are saying, but I would NEVER want my au pair to have to call home and tell her parents that she was pregnant….or WORSE, had a potentially life-threatening illness like HIV, Hep C or Hep B. I see it far too often to pretend tha it doesn’t happen.

Maybe it’s because of my line of work, but I feel like it’s part of my responsibility.

BTW, both of my au pairs have had positive feedback about our discussion. I do NOT lecture. I provide information in a factual way and ask for questions. I do not want to know what they are doing in their personal life. That would not ever be my place to ask or discuss.

My 2 cents November 13, 2009 at 1:06 pm

I see your side too and it makes a ton of sense. And it’s terrific that you have such a close relationship with your APs that you can have a solid conversation. Speaks volumes about your abilities to both manage and have a special connection (Oh, no, another flashback to every cheezy episode on The Bachelor). While I’ve had very positive relationships with our APs, I find that it works better for me in managing the APs generally to have a bit of distance and that’s probably factoring into my decisionmaking as well. So, for me, unless the AP asked me about this stuff, or I was confronted with it in some other way, there would be no segue for me to introduce the topic without it coming across as Sex Ed 101, no matter how nicely and unintrusively I tried to package the message. And, there is no getting around that it is an intensely personal subject when coming from you to your AP, even if packaged in say the third person or given with the disclaimer that it’s not meant to be a lecture or a judgment of the AP.

It just now strikes me that this is a topic I can at least pawn off to my area manager since she is charged specifically with addressing healthy and safety issues in her meetings. Knowing her directness she probably already has.

PA aupair mom November 13, 2009 at 4:21 pm

Great idea about asking your LCC to address the topic. That way the girls, and guys, get the education they may need and we don’t have to feel intrusive or like we are micromanaging. What a wonderful topic suggestion for their monthly meeting.

AnonymousHostMom November 13, 2009 at 5:51 pm

I know 2 LCCs that I can say with 99% certainty will NOT be having The Talk with their girls. (It would be fun to suggest it, just to see their reactions!) Anyway, less than half our group even attend the meetings, even when told it’s mandatory, like for H1N1 education! Too bad, because it would be a great health & safety topic, as you say.

María December 4, 2009 at 12:26 am

I am 26 and even having a good relation with my HM, I would never ask her where I can get a Plan B!! I have occasionally sex with a few boys and I get the pills by myself, and I found out about the pill here because in my country doesn’t sale it. Also, my HM knows I am dating someone and she ask me what we did, she mentioned about the rule of the 3 dates but never really explained, and I always skip that part, if she thinks I am doing it or not, I don’t know, but we never speak about sex. I just think I don’t want her to ask me if I had sex last night and use a condom, as she doesn’t want me to ask her, if she had sex with the HF!

Martin Jones December 11, 2010 at 11:25 pm

This comment has been deleted. Thanks to Shayna who alerted me, via email, while I was off enjoying Christmas shopping at the mall. ! … Sorry to the folks who were disturbed. cv

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