Sorry for the long lapse in posting…I’m still recovering.
To nudge me (and you?) back into the challenges of Host Parenting, here’s an email about a problem that we faced with our Au Pair too. It was especially disappointing — and surprising — since this happened with perhaps our most mature, measured, and confident au pair….
A few months ago our au pair told me she was taking my car to the mall to meet up with a friend to shop and get dinner. The next morning as I’m coming downstairs for work she’s there to great me with some terrible news. —
While she was at the mall her family called (she actually has family about 40 minutes north of us who emigrated to America in the 80s) to invite her over. So she drove there (without telling me), and then on her way home got a flat. She tried to put the spare on but broke a bolt and then called AAA and had the car towed home. She did not call or text us once during this episode.
Obviously I was furious and we had a big conversation about trust and if 1) you have my car and plans change you have to tell me where you are going and 2) If anything happens to the car you have to call me right away.
But she takes great care of my son and she’s never done anything during working hours to make me not trust her.
Since this incident, I’ve been periodically checking the mileage on the car after she’s used it just to see if it lines up with what she’s told me. This past Friday she asked to take the car to visit a friend in the next town over (about 3 miles away) and said she’d be home by 10PM. At 11PM she texted to say she was staying the night and would see us in the morning as she was scheduled to work at 9AM. The next morning I check the odometer and see that she put 80 miles on the car.
When I asked her about it, she said she was just driving around town with her friend. Ahem, this is a lie, since takes an awful lot of driving around town to put 80 miles on a car. Today I asked her again asked and this time she told me she’s been seeing a guy (named David) who lives in a town that is 20 miles away. She drove there for the first time Friday night to surprise him and got lost on the way hence the extra mileage.
I’m not sure I believe this story either (I think she went to see her family), but either way she lied again about where she was taking the car.
What do I do here besides ban all car privileges except for driving to/from class or taking my son to the activities ? Help!!!