When we know an Au Pair is doing something that contradicts our house rules, but we aren’t able to present positive proof of this, what can we do?
We don’t want to be accusatory.
But then again, we’re sure we’re right. We don’t need to see him or her rinsing out the bong in the laundry room sink to know.
Dear Au Pair Mom —
I can’t believe I’m in a bind again. We recently rematched and our new AP has been here for a little over 2 weeks. She’s adjusting and of course it’s too soon to know how things will work out.
But here’s the problem: we smelled marijuana in our hallway 2x already. Marijuana use is not legal in our state.
The first time my husband and I thought we were crazy. He went around the house and found no evidence of the smell coming from anywhere else around our home. Now that it’s happened again, it’s kinda obvious. We have never smelled marijuana in our home before and the smell is strongest in the hallway right by her room.
We wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt but we aren’t stupid. I have no idea how to bring this up since my only proof is my nose. Any suggestions for how to even start addressing this issue? I’m not even sure I’m thinking of all the angles here. Am I overreacting?
To be clear, she’s underage and we live in a state that is pretty strict (possession is still illegal). We have a clear section in our handbook about alcohol, cigarettes and drugs (it basically says none allowed), and the fact that it’s inside our house is just beyond me! I can’t control or even know about what APs do outside of my home in their free time. But this is a bit different.
If we rematch we would give up on the AP program for now. Maybe try again in the future but 2 in a row is just too much.
Thanks for the help!
See also: Keeping Up With Changing Times… or not? When pot becomes ‘legal’ in your state, but not in the whole US of A