Personally, I can’t imagine living in a family where the members actively fight with one another. It’s one thing to have sibling bickering, or to have the parents yell at each other (very) occasionally when something goes wrong. But to live in a household where people are actively hostile? That would depress me no end.
A hostile or unhappy family situation is more than an au pair can handle, and more than he or she should be able to bear.
Maybe you disagree? Or maybe you see something in this email that suggests a different approach?
What should an Au Pair do when kids only fight all the time and the family never really spend “family time”?
I’ve worked with kids of all ages but my current kids are the hardest, they just want to play on electronics, which they are not allowed to, and when asked to play a board game or play outside with me they pretend I don’t exist.
It’s really hard, I feel like they don’t need an Au Pair, I just stay all day sitting around, putting their stuff away, because they never talk to me or do sometime I ask them for, like take a shower, eat dinner, simple daily things…
Besides that the house is full of tension, one of the kids is depressed and needs attention while the other kids fight all the time. My host mom even says she “can’t take this anymore.”
Recently one of the kids came to me and said “I just wish they (his parents) would stop fighting”.
I am thinking about looking for rematch, but I wonder if I ask for one, if it will seem like I am not good enough, since I don’t want to go through stress and problems. But is there something I should do?
I don’t believe that Au Pairs can be expected to change the kids’ behavior. This should be the parent’s task. If the mom can’t take this anymore, should I?