Comments on: AP Handbook, part 1 http://AuPairMom.com Helping Host Parents and Au Pairs build great relationships. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 01:53:30 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: 2nd time au pair http://AuPairMom.com/ap-handbook-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-13123 2nd time au pair Fri, 27 Aug 2010 03:16:39 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?page_id=709#comment-13123 A handbook is a good idea - if I had received a detailed handbook before I started my current au pair job I would not have accepted the position. I did receive a schedule but the more detailed schedule I received on arrival shows me what this family really want. I think they are entitled to get what they want; it's their money and I am in their home. However I sincerely wish I wasn't the one attempting to provide it for them. I have no idea what I am going to get out of a year as a broke housekeeper. A handbook is a good idea – if I had received a detailed handbook before I started my current au pair job I would not have accepted the position.

I did receive a schedule but the more detailed schedule I received on arrival shows me what this family really want. I think they are entitled to get what they want; it’s their money and I am in their home. However I sincerely wish I wasn’t the one attempting to provide it for them. I have no idea what I am going to get out of a year as a broke housekeeper.

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]]> By: English AuPair http://AuPairMom.com/ap-handbook-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-5775 English AuPair Sun, 24 Jan 2010 01:12:56 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?page_id=709#comment-5775 As an Au Pair myself... i would love to recieve this before i arrived. I mean okay its very detailed and a bit scary but i'd rather recieve this and know exactly what was expected of me than to recieve a paragraph of pointless information. As an Au Pair myself… i would love to recieve this before i arrived. I mean okay its very detailed and a bit scary but i’d rather recieve this and know exactly what was expected of me than to recieve a paragraph of pointless information.

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]]> By: Busy Mom http://AuPairMom.com/ap-handbook-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-1676 Busy Mom Mon, 27 Apr 2009 13:07:16 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?page_id=709#comment-1676 Detailed handbooks are a necessity. With our previous nannies, I have always reviewed the handbook (including 22 pages on our childrearing guidlines!), house rules, contract, weekly schedule, checklists, etc. during the interview process. I know that I scared off some potential candidates. But I ended up with fantastic nannies who wanted/thrived on that level of organization. I was hesitant to provide too much information up front to an au pair candidate because I didn't want to overwhelm them, but given Felybee's comments, I will share more next time. Felybee, we would not have been a good family for you and it's best to know that before one matches. We did end up with a good au pair, but I feel like I lucked out and see now how we should change our interviewing process to make it more certain next time. Given Anonymous' comments about trying to memorize everything, I think I'd create a packet with examples of schedules, a summary of guidelines, etc. so that the candidate gets a good sense of the type of family we are (I mean, just telling someone we have a 22-page document on how to handle our kids says a lot) , but doesn't feel that she has to memorize everything before she arrives. Detailed handbooks are a necessity. With our previous nannies, I have always reviewed the handbook (including 22 pages on our childrearing guidlines!), house rules, contract, weekly schedule, checklists, etc. during the interview process. I know that I scared off some potential candidates. But I ended up with fantastic nannies who wanted/thrived on that level of organization. I was hesitant to provide too much information up front to an au pair candidate because I didn’t want to overwhelm them, but given Felybee’s comments, I will share more next time. Felybee, we would not have been a good family for you and it’s best to know that before one matches. We did end up with a good au pair, but I feel like I lucked out and see now how we should change our interviewing process to make it more certain next time. Given Anonymous’ comments about trying to memorize everything, I think I’d create a packet with examples of schedules, a summary of guidelines, etc. so that the candidate gets a good sense of the type of family we are (I mean, just telling someone we have a 22-page document on how to handle our kids says a lot) , but doesn’t feel that she has to memorize everything before she arrives.

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]]> By: MTR http://AuPairMom.com/ap-handbook-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-1670 MTR Sun, 26 Apr 2009 23:15:39 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?page_id=709#comment-1670 Felybee I have just had an au pair leave my house after 4 months here. To tell you the truth, I have no idea why I did not rematch this girl after her first 2 weeks here. She was absolutely and completely incompetent. And as a result, she let my children do what they wanted to do – summer shoes in the winter when there was 5 inches of snow, no hats and sweaters in the winter, eat all the crap they want instead of the food I cooked and specifically told her to feed the children. She was so bad that she could not put together puzzles we bought for our kids. She took my kids to the museum and lost my 4 year old in there because my kid ‘wanted’ to go look at something. Then she left my 6 year old alone to go look for a 4 year old. God forbid I ever have an au pair like her ever again. And as a lesson learned, if au pair is not doing what parents, meaning my husband and I, want, she will be out of here faster then she can tell me that she thinks it is better for the kids. Felybee

I have just had an au pair leave my house after 4 months here. To tell you the truth, I have no idea why I did not rematch this girl after her first 2 weeks here. She was absolutely and completely incompetent. And as a result, she let my children do what they wanted to do – summer shoes in the winter when there was 5 inches of snow, no hats and sweaters in the winter, eat all the crap they want instead of the food I cooked and specifically told her to feed the children. She was so bad that she could not put together puzzles we bought for our kids. She took my kids to the museum and lost my 4 year old in there because my kid ‘wanted’ to go look at something. Then she left my 6 year old alone to go look for a 4 year old. God forbid I ever have an au pair like her ever again.

And as a lesson learned, if au pair is not doing what parents, meaning my husband and I, want, she will be out of here faster then she can tell me that she thinks it is better for the kids.

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]]> By: Anna http://AuPairMom.com/ap-handbook-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-1667 Anna Sun, 26 Apr 2009 18:45:53 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?page_id=709#comment-1667 Felybee, that is why we have an adult (au pair) take care of our kids, and not our kids take care of themselfves - so that they don't do what THEY want all day! It is a sign of an incompetent caregiver, when she doesn't follow your specific instructions and in her defense says "but the kids wanted to do that!" Example: a mother leaves a dinner for everybody, comes home to empty ice cream bowls and the au pair says "but the kids wanted to eat that!" did I get my point across? And yes, we as parents, decide what kind of popular culture and at what age we want our kids exposed to, if at all. And if an au pair has problems understanding that, maybe she lacks maturity for the job. Felybee,
that is why we have an adult (au pair) take care of our kids, and not our kids take care of themselfves – so that they don’t do what THEY want all day!

It is a sign of an incompetent caregiver, when she doesn’t follow your specific instructions and in her defense says “but the kids wanted to do that!”

Example: a mother leaves a dinner for everybody, comes home to empty ice cream bowls and the au pair says “but the kids wanted to eat that!”

did I get my point across?

And yes, we as parents, decide what kind of popular culture and at what age we want our kids exposed to, if at all. And if an au pair has problems understanding that, maybe she lacks maturity for the job.

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]]> By: Felybee http://AuPairMom.com/ap-handbook-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-1666 Felybee Sun, 26 Apr 2009 18:24:16 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?page_id=709#comment-1666 I agree with Anonymous, this is really too much. So much that I didn't take the time to read it all. I also had a handbook with my first host family, and this was not so complete, and already too much. For example they gave me a schedule of activities. But the kids are never tired or able to do things the same way every days. We have to listen to them, to know, and understand what are their needs. Some days they may need to go out and run everywhere because they have a lot of energy to spend. And some other days, they may need to rest. And I have to say by experience, that a kid after school will more likely need to rest than to go out and play. We can find activities for them to have fun, without need to be runing. You don't want your kids to watch TV, or if they do so, they have to wach educatives stuffs. But did you ever think that sponge bob, the bratz and others cartoons are part of the General Culture. They need to know about them, not because they like it or because their friends are watching it, but because some day if they have friends speaking about this stuffs, if they don't know what this is about, (specially with teens), they are going to be treated like nuts ! Think about it, and think that sometimes, your au pair can be more tired by trying to folow your whishes than by taking care of the kids, who will want other stuffs than the ones you ask your au pair to propose. And your au pair is going to be the one who will have to assume your choices, so don't make her work even harder by trying to avoid a part of the fun she may have with them. I agree with Anonymous, this is really too much. So much that I didn’t take the time to read it all. I also had a handbook with my first host family, and this was not so complete, and already too much. For example they gave me a schedule of activities. But the kids are never tired or able to do things the same way every days. We have to listen to them, to know, and understand what are their needs. Some days they may need to go out and run everywhere because they have a lot of energy to spend. And some other days, they may need to rest. And I have to say by experience, that a kid after school will more likely need to rest than to go out and play. We can find activities for them to have fun, without need to be runing. You don’t want your kids to watch TV, or if they do so, they have to wach educatives stuffs. But did you ever think that sponge bob, the bratz and others cartoons are part of the General Culture. They need to know about them, not because they like it or because their friends are watching it, but because some day if they have friends speaking about this stuffs, if they don’t know what this is about, (specially with teens), they are going to be treated like nuts !

Think about it, and think that sometimes, your au pair can be more tired by trying to folow your whishes than by taking care of the kids, who will want other stuffs than the ones you ask your au pair to propose. And your au pair is going to be the one who will have to assume your choices, so don’t make her work even harder by trying to avoid a part of the fun she may have with them.

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]]> By: Anonymous http://AuPairMom.com/ap-handbook-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-900 Anonymous Wed, 18 Feb 2009 09:37:05 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?page_id=709#comment-900 as i totally agree that it is a good thing to know what your expectations are, i honestly think all of this is TOO MUCH.. i would personally be very worried if my hostfamily sent me this,, they did send me a handbook, but not this detailed, and as i wanted to make a good impression, i tried very hard to memorize everything in it but i was pretty stressed out trying to remember everything. as i totally agree that it is a good thing to know what your expectations are, i honestly think all of this is TOO MUCH.. i would personally be very worried if my hostfamily sent me this,, they did send me a handbook, but not this detailed, and as i wanted to make a good impression, i tried very hard to memorize everything in it but i was pretty stressed out trying to remember everything.

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