Speaking of being taken advantage of and being too generous…. check out Cynthia’s situation….And offer her some advice!!
Does anyone have experience when AP wants to spend the 13 month with you??? I can’t seem to get her to leave. She always says her plans have change or she is waiting for money, etc. LCC said to be patient but this isn’t fair to my family or the new au pair.
I just spent three nights cooking for a dinner party and she invited her friends over and ate all the food. She said I only told the new au pair that it was for a party. It is obvious that she has no where to go and plane tickets that are still two weeks away. I don’t want to throw her out on the street but I really don’t know what else to do. She has tons of luggage and it is going to cost her a fortune to get it all back home. I am also extremely busy at work and don’t have time for this. HELP
Cynthia, this is one of those situations where I think you have to lean on your LCC and tell her to take in the (former) au pair. You’re right, it is NOT fair to you, your kids or your new au pair. Also, from your comments, it sounds like she is taking advantage of you and was planning to take advantage of you.
Somehow, the ball got dropped (1) when your former AP was making her plans to leave, and (2) when the 13th month was or was not discussed. How is it that she is scheduled to leave 3 weeks after the end of her time with you, without you knowing this in advance or giving permission? This is why I suggest leaning on the counselor — since it is the agency that is supposed to make sure that travel arrangements ‘work’. You are not required to be "patient" and to house this au pair for an additional 3 weeks. That’s not your job.
Edina has some good ideas for you:
This is pretty tricky. I have had this scenario several times when I worked in the au pair industry. Prior discussion of the 13th month is critical – many times the au pair just assumes she can stay (she is a teenager, right? Teens assume things all the time and they can be pretty self-centered).
Now, it is too late and I think you are stuck with her and her luggage! You could ask the LCC if she has any families that are between au pairs (in rematch or waiting for their new au pair) and maybe that family would be willing to take her, in return for her helping out with the kids, etc.
This seems to work well if you can find such a family and your au pair does not mind moving all her stuff there!
She should be mailing boxes of things now so she does not have such a huge expense and trouble with all that stuff when she leaves.
Edina’s suggestion of looking for a short interim gig with a family is something your LCC could help with.
I know hindsight is 20/20, so now we’re all forewarned about the 13th month. In the meantime, I’m irked on your behalf! Watch out for all that luggage… you don’t need to be taking a trip to the Goodwill or spending $ at UPS either. Keep us posted….
Moms, Ideas? Please share in the comments!