Comments Policy for Au Pair Mom

Comments Policy:

1. Please comment! Share your advice, your questions, and your experience.

2. Seek First to Understand.

Jump in after you’ve read carefully, after you’ve made an attempt to see the various points of view already shared.

3. Be thoughtful not only in what you say, but in how you say it. 

Consider: Would you like your children, your spouse/partner, and/or your AP to hear you say this, in the way that you are saying it? Be fair, be accurate, be willing to listen.

4. Respect the privacy of your AP, your family, your LCC, and other Host Parents.

No need to share full names, real names, locations, or other details that might be better off kept private. Feel free to use a ‘nom de Mom ‘ or “designation du Dad” (aka nickname)– just be consistent so that we know each time that it’s ‘you’.

5. Keep in  mind that the comments you make here become part of the blog. 

By commenting here, you are contributing your insights to the AuPairMom community.  Other readers and commenters may may refer to your comments in later posts and I might excerpt from your comments to craft a new post or to summarize insights. If I ever refer to your comments I will do my very best (memory & search function permitting) to credit you.  And, your anonymity with be preserved if you’ve used a pseudonym  (i.e., I won’t use your name or publish your email).  The blog is now officially copyrighted, in an effort to protect your insights from being used elsewhere, without your (and my) explicit consent.

6. Contact the head Host Mom directly if you have any concerns or questions about comments.

Other notes

Commenters are asked to enter their email addresses when they comment. This way I can get in touch with you if I have questions about your issue or comment, and I can let you know if you are using a nom de mom that belongs to another commenter.  Your email address will not be shared or sold by AuPairMom.

Comments and/or commenters will be pended for approval or blocked:

  • When comments deviate from these general principles,
  • When comments or a commenter are simply unkind,
  • When comments or a commenter aim to sell or advertise products, websites, and activities that aren’t pre-approved by AuPairMom, and where the nature of the sale or advertisement is not completely clear,
  • When a comment is factually wrong or emotionally charged in a negative way,
  • When a commenter requests that her or his comment be deleted,
  • When a community member asks for a conversation to be monitored actively,
  • When a commenter behaves offline in an unkind way towards the AuPairMom community.

I reserve the right to block any comment or commenter that, in my opinion, is not contributing to the conversation in a positive way.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Horner June 16, 2014 at 5:48 pm

I hired a Malaysian au pair who quibbled over money after her first pay packet and then stirred up my second au pair, a Latvian, into running away with her at the first opportunity and the pair left me au pairless.


Karolyn July 8, 2015 at 5:17 pm

I have provided an iPhone to my Au Pair with unlimited calls, text (within the U.S.) and data, so that she can communicate with me in case of emergency, have a maps app and get directions, as well as use apps for her personal use.
The problem is that she cannot go 5 minutes without texting. I have a toddler who still puts things in his mouth and have asked my Au Pair to put the phone away when she is out with him, because even a 10-second text is enough for a toddler to grab something off the floor and put it in his mouth, or stick his fingers where he is not supposed to. I think she is doing that when out, she seems responsible. However, at home, there are some child proofed are and – like many tech savvy homes these days – we have cams (in full view, our Au Pair knows we can check remotely) and often see her texting away while our child is walking around looking bored or trying to get her attention.
When feeding him, the Au Pair checks her phone every 3 to 4 minutes. I don’t think she can go 5 minutes without checking her phone. And sometimes she starts texting and gets so absorbed by it, she seems to lose track of time and text away for 20 minutes or so.
While we’re not opposed to her texting, and surfing the web, good judgement should be exerted and she should put the child first all the time. If we wanted our child to roam around and spend a lot of his time doing stuff on his own, we would have put him in daycare where they have less interactions with adults. Quality interactions with adults is what contribute the most to a baby and toddler’s development, hence why we prefer one on one integration until 3 years of age.
Our Au Pair is doing a good job otherwise, so how do we tell her to focus more on the child when he is awake (we’re OK if she wants to text away when he is sleeping), and point out that phone use is a bit excessive when she is caring for our child? We don’t want to sound critical but this excessive phone use is a bad example for our child (we make it a point to put ours away), and is impacting the quality of interaction with our child.


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