Comments on: A Holiday Wish

By: Darthastewart

Darthastewart — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 19:45:31 +0000

All of our au-pairs have done something for the kids- no matter how small. The one that boggles my mind is the ones that don’t show up to the kids’ birthday parties. I’m not asking that they arrange the party- but they should at least show up.

By: MommyMia

MommyMia — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 16:57:31 +0000

Yes, ours did – far too much, in our opinion, as we had advised her that one small token gift was fine (they already get far too many gifts). She also handcrafted a beautiful photo collage/shadow box of our family, including the pet cat, which was a wonderful gift that we’ll always treasure. I think they must talk about this at orientation, or give the APs some ideas of gifts (if they don’t, they should). I think it all depends on their own upbringing and family traditions, so while I don’t think you’re expecting too much, especially if yours bought gifts for her friends, perhaps there was not a clear understanding on her part. If the children have birthdays coming up while this AP is with you, I think I’d talk to her and explain that they are “expecting” to receive something, no matter how small.

By: HMdc

HMdc — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 16:47:53 +0000

I wish our AP has given something for the kids for Christmas. The kids were a litle bit dissapointed. All our previous aupairs gave a little present for the kids (candy, little toys, cards, etc). So, I was kind of surprised that she didn’t consider to buy anything for the kids. She knew we bought some presents for her and she bought presents for her friends. I’m wondering if I’m expecting too much from the AP. Did your AP give something for your kids?

By: Mom23

Mom23 — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 14:28:00 +0000

I agree with JJ. There are a lot of really wonderful au pairs out there and some of our best ones we have had have been rematch au pairs. You shouldn’t settle, or wait for her to quit. Rematch on your own terms. I have BTDT that with the educated au pair who feels that everything is horrible and beneath her.

By: CV

CV — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 01:00:24 +0000

A CA Mom–
your wish has been granted… well, at least the part about a conversation about lame duck situations… let’s hope for some good insights! cv

By: Darthastewart

Darthastewart — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 18:42:47 +0000

I don’t think you’re a lame duck if she decides to extend with a different family. It could be she wants to see a different part of the country. Honestly my own experiences with extending haven’t been all that awesome.

By: Darthastewart

Darthastewart — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 18:33:31 +0000

I’m so sorry to hear that. Are you just looking with 1 agency? sometimes if you fish in multiple ponds and stay on top of it, you get faster response.

By: AnotherCAMom

AnotherCAMom — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 17:23:27 +0000

Crapola. I think she is seriously considering finding a “new” family for her 2nd year. CV – could we log a request to talk about how to handle being a lame duck HF? I can feel myself already taking the potential of this personally – so could use some reinforcements on how to be a grownup, keep things focused & positive, etc., if this is indeed what happens.

By: JJ

JJ — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 21:53:25 +0000

Seriously, initiate rematch on your side. Don’t wait for her to leave. It’s just not worth it. I stuck with it for 8 months with our first au pair, thinking if I just tried a little harder I could make it work… ended up making us all miserable and rematching anyway. Our second au pair is wonderful. It can be great! Don’t settle for less.

By: PNW-Mom

PNW-Mom — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 05:09:00 +0000

We can be cueless… We try to include our au pair in our culture, but sometimes lack in theirs. But we do care and try…