The AP had told the family she was doing ok and that she did not need to go home for the furneral and that she would be ok. She was sad, but she would be ok. When I called, the AP was a bit upset that the host family had not ‘heard’ her when she said she was ok. I did ease her upset by assuring her that they really cared about her and wanted to be sure she was indeed ok. They did want me to be sure that she was saying she was not going home based on the personal decision not to go, and not to be putting them ahead of the situation. (They felt she might feel she was bailing on them when they needed childcare and therefore did want to verify that the decision to not go home was not based on being concerned for them and childcare.)

Anyway, past that, and the point I really wanted to point out was that during the conversation with the AP she said to me something profound that eased everyone in this time of grief. She said, “My mother and I had a very serious talk about the fact that this might happen while I was away. We agreed that I was saying ‘good-bye’ (to her grandmother) and that if the time came, I would not be going home for this.”

So since it was not necessarily discussed in your post if it was sudden or somewhat exptected, it may be another aspect of the situation and concern for her attending the funeral or not…