Parents- here’s a request for some immediate advice:
People, I could use some sugestions here.
I just found out today, Sunday, that my au pair’s grandmother passed away on Tuesday. She never told me. Just told me today when I asked if she has talked to her family recently.
I asked if she needs/wants to go back home and she said no. What else can I do? I feel so lost right now with this.
From Calif mom
This happened with a former ap of ours, too. I gave her a big hug, and we sat at the kitchen table and we talked about her grandmother a bit. I tried to listen and share some understanding (my grandmother died while I was in Europe and my family encouraged me not to return for the funeral, so I could relate a little bit to being away). Just show her that you care and do what you would do for someone else. And respect that relationships with grandmothers are not all the same, so it may not be as big of a deal for her as it would be for you (or vice versa). Maybe, if she is doing a lot of phoning to older relatives, you could offer her to use the phone more than usual during this time, but I would try to take her lead. If she seems distraught, offer her a few hours extra time off to get herself together or write something for a relative to read at the service. Basic human kindness goes a long way, but I think taking her lead is important. If she wants to stay quiet about it, that is okay, too.
And from Anna
I would encourage her to go to church (she is Catholic, right?) to pray for her grandmother. You can give her a list of churches in your area. This could be comforting to her.
Please add your suggestions …