As we learned in the conversation about whether to get a US driver’s license, the process itself can be a bit of a drag. There is nothing like waiting in line at the DMV for 55 minutes only to be turned away because they don’t consider your Estonian passport to be “enough” identification.
There are a few things that you can do as a host parent to make the licensing process easier on your au pair.
Here are 7 ways you can help:
1. First, get a copy of your state driving regulations in your au pair’s native language as well as in English. Many states have manuals in several languages that can be downloaded at home, and some have even more manuals in more languages at the actual office.
2. Use your state’s DMV website — often they have practice written tests that people can use online to test their knowledge and improve their comfort with the material. And, the DMV will have descriptions of the actual road test too, so your au pair can think about what will be expected of him.her.
3. Call ahead to see if s/he can take the test in her own language. Not that s/he shouldn’t also read and learn the rules in English too, but taking the written test in your native language may reduce some of the stress.
4. Make sure that you take all of the documents required. Check on line for the list of what’s allowed, take all of them and a few extra ones too.
5. Make sure that your own car is up to date with registration, inspections, headlights, and a current insurance card. Send your au pair to take the test in a car that will pass!
Also, JJ recommends:
6. I tend to be a hands-off host mom, but I’ve learned that it’s better to go with our au pair to the DMV when she goes to take her written test. Someone at our local DMV does not understand that a J1 working visa is different from a student visa, and has turned away more than one au pair who didn’t have a school transcript with her. It’s worthwhile to have a native English speaker there to explain the visa requirements so au pairs don’t have to stand in line for hours multiple times only to be turned away.
7. And, finally, my personal tip: Once you au pair gets his or her license, take your au pair and the kids out for ice cream. It’s important to celebrate! Plus, if the kids get ice cream after their shots, then surely your au pair should get ice cream after getting a US license!
Any other tips?
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I do not provide much assistance to APs in negotiating with the DMV. Our LCC makes a nice packet, which includes a letter from our agency explaining that the Au Pair has the legal right to a driving license in our state. She gives a brief explanation about getting the DL to our AP in her first meeting, which we review if we think the AP didn’t absorb the info.
I used to go get the DMV driving guidelines, but now that they’re online, I email them to my AP with a link.
Because the driving skills of my current AP are so much weaker than any other AP I have had, we invested time and money into a driving evaluation session with a school run by off-duty police officers. When she drives, we explain the difference to her between the law and common practice (because the driving examiner will expect her to know the law). We printed out the checklist for beginning drivers on skills they are expected to have for the test with the number of hours the DMV advises students to practice those skills.
But, I will not book the required Drug & Alcohol Class for her. I will not accompany her to the DMV. In my opinion, her willingness to do those things for herself show her commitment to us and the program. (I don’t accompany them to the social security office or the bank either. We go back and forth as to whether we should accompany them to the college – usually because the last English placement test for the Fall semester is so their arrival, we do).
I agree, the LCC should take the lead. Our posts a link on the cluster’s website that the APs can get information. We do provide a copy of our state’s DMV handbook for them to study. And we do take them to the Social Security office and if requested, will accompany them to the college to assist. These are usually things done within the first couple of weeks and they aren’t yet confident of their English, finding their away around, etc. so we feel that’s part of their “orientation.”
Here’s one that never occurred to me until we ran into it last fall: Make sure your au pair signs up for paper bank statements and NOT online statements. The bank statement provides proof of address here in NJ. The bank gave our au pair a signed document and that sufficed for the initial DMV check, but not the post-road test check. She eventually got her license but this little item certainly caused delays.
Our LCC gives new au pairs a copy of the NJ manual.
I accompany our aupairs to the social security office, drivers license facility, bank, and college. Each time we’ve had a new aupair, I try to get those things done as soon as possible. In the early days, I was confused about the order needed to be. In our state, they need the social security card first. Once that arrives, she can obtain a state ID, or drivers license. When she has the drivers license or state ID, she can open a bank account. Then she can get a check card or credit card. Registering for college is not as easy as I thought it would be for our aupairs. I know this because I was there for setting the appointments for their language testing, the actual tests, and then registering for the classes. This time spent is a big commitment, but I want our aupairs to feel settled so that they can give their attention to my children. I also treat our aupairs as part of our family, and if my own children were aupairs (as they talk about being someday), I would want someone who would guide them in the early days. I agree with a previous post, and take a hands off stand on some other issues. I spent three summers in Russia, and I remember being in a bit of a fog. I know that I experienced culture shock and feared getting lost. I’m sure those experiences have affected how I work with our aupairs.
I’m a new host mom and I did take our au pair to the SS office to get her card. I was surprised there was another au pair from our group in the office at the same time without a host parent and I helped her fill out the form. I kind of feel like our government agencies are overwhelming enough as it is and I can’t imagine trying to navigate through the process in a foreign language. I also helped her set up a bank account. I also plan on helping her navigate the DMV when we get to that part.
I wish our LCC was a little more proactive when it came to the instructions and what needs to be done in what order, what paperwork will suffice and everything else, but that does not seem to be the case.
Our au pair even requires a Canadian visa to take a trip the LCC is planning and I don’t know that the LCC realized that it takes 30 days to process that paperwork (which also means she won’t have her passport for 30 days) and they want a ridiculous amount of information just so our au pair can visit Canada for 2 days…
After just visiting the Canadian consulate, we did learn that they only keep the au pair’s paperwork and passport for a few days, not 30. So that’s a little better than what the website says.
On the other topic though of whether or not to accompany them, I’m not comfortable letting our au pair drive yet anyway and the busses take forever around here so it’s honestly easier for us to take her. We didn’t need an experienced driver, so maybe that’s one thing that will change with future au pairs as our daughter gets older and if we are comfortable letting her have the car, rather than driving her ourselves.
I’m sure that she would be able to navigate the system herself, but if I have to take of off work anyway to watch the baby we might as well get these things done as quickly as possible.
I can’t imagine navigating the SS office without help – “Maiden name” — that doesn’t always translate well, etc. All of my APs have had some confusion with the papers. And the SS offices are not always full of the best of American society. They can be intimidating places to sit for an hour. Under armed guard, in my large city.
I just had an AP give up on a Canadian trip because the paperwork requirements were too onerous, as was the expense for a weekend getaway.
I don’t take APs to SS office, licensing, etc. Some have gone with friends who had been through the process earlier, others on their own. All have successfully obtained it without me.