Comments on: 3 Ways to Reclaim Your Host Mom Mojo

By: Lidi

Lidi — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 14:05:14 +0000

Our new au pair will be arriving in a couple of weeks and I’m getting more nervous than excited about it. Part of the reason is that our last au pair (who was our first), who left a few weeks ago, was such a bad match and particularly at the end. On top of it she bad-mouthed me on a social networking site and now her mother emailed complaining, so I still have the bad au pair ghost haunting me. It’s hard to be excited about a new au pair when I think of how stressed out I was (and still am a bit) by the old one.

I appreciate the tips on reclaiming the host mom mojo, because I would like to be optimistic and excited and don’t want my negative experience to tinge our new au pair’s arrival. I definitely feel more prepared this time around, given our experience, and others’ shared on this blog.

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By: SeaMom

SeaMom — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 19:34:48 +0000

After having several years of AP’s I definitely have lost my Host Mom Mojo. One of the things I have started doing is giving myself 2 – 3 weeks of no AP before the next one comes. Usually this includes the kids at camp, a grandparent visit, and a week of family vacation time. This gives me a chance to breath, think about changes I may want to make and get excited about the next one. While we have explored other options, having an AP right now is the right decision for us. I know I am not the “fun” host mom I was for our 1st or 2nd AP, but I also know I am not as naive as I was 5 AP’s ago. Which is probably why I am not as FUN! We are getting ready to say goodbye to our current AP in a few months and welcome a new one. I have already started looking forward to my no AP vacation and resetting my mind to think positive thoughts and what I might do differently next year.

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By: Jeana

Jeana — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 04:02:40 +0000

I can totally relate to the fear and anxiety before a new aupair joins the family. With our first aupair, I only felt excited, anticipating an awesome year, and we had an awesome year. With our second aupair, I was again excited. This match didn’t work, and I had two rematch situations back to back. My confidence was gone, and a kind and more experienced host mom reassured me that she’d had three rematch situations back to back. So, for my fourth and fifth auapirs, I was excited, hopeful, fearful, and determined that I would do everything I could to make our experiences successful. I also thought of what I’d learned through the two errors I’d made in the two unsuccessful matches.

Experienced host families realize that with the arrival of a new aupair, there are changes. There is a new person in the family that needs help getting settled and learning the ropes of how the family functions. Our children are affected by the arrival of a new person. To help an aupair learn how our family moves throughout the week, I need to invest a significant amount of time modeling how and when we do things. Initially, it takes more work to get through the routine, because we’re helping a new person, whose first language is different than our own, make it through the process, too.

When a family has experienced a rematch situation, we remember what it is like to deal with that situation with our children. Might just be me, but I think that nervous feelings before this change, when there has been a rematch in the past, is the sign of a responsible host parent who realizes change is in the air, and there will be a lot of work to do to make the match successful. When friends were aware of our two back to back rematch situations, they questioned if I was afraid to try again. I told them that there are so many positive aspects of having an aupair, that I never questioned that this was the right decision for our family, and that I would not repeat my previous errors. I’ll make new mistakes, but won’t repeat the previous ones!

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