December 2010

New Year’s Eve Thanks

by cv harquail December 31, 2010
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Some New Year’s Eve thank you thoughts: Thank you to all of you host parents who are staying in tonight, so that your au pairs can go out on the town. Thank you to all of you au pairs who are staying in tonight, so that your host parents can go out on the town. […]

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10 Most Engaging Posts of 2010 on Au Pair Mom

by cv harquail December 31, 2010
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Each of us has a topic or two that really hits our hot buttons… but have you ever wondered which topics we all seem to want to talk about? In an ‘end of the year retrospective’ moment, I went back and looked over the posts for this past year to see which ones were the […]

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Classic Case: Your childcare needs are not your Au Pair’s priority

by cv harquail December 29, 2010
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There are several situations that host parents and au pairs seem to see over and over. Each time, the situation has its own particular details, and it is happening to a host parent or au pair who feels the problems acutely and specifically. And yet, the situation has an underlying issue that we see time […]

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What are the best lessons you’ ve learned this year about being a good Host Parent?

by cv harquail December 27, 2010
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Kids seem to like the time between Christmas and New Year’s because they have days off to play, Grandparents visiting, parents off work, and if they’re very lucky, 22 inches of freshly fallen snow. Grown-ups seem to appreciate the time to eat a little more, work a little less, reflect on the year gone by […]

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At Best, Two Weeks of Resentment?: How to handle that rematch period

by cv harquail December 22, 2010
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How many among us who have lived through a rematch can describe the two weeks between agreeing to a rematch and having the au pair depart as anything close to a pleasant, respectful experience? I’m not even going to put up a poll for that question. I bet, too, that one reason we don’t initiate […]

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How Can You Help Your Au Pair Feel at Home over the Holidays?

by cv harquail December 20, 2010
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Last night I was ironing a pretty Christmas tablecover given to us by the cousin of one of our au pairs, when he was visiting a few years ago. Smoothing out the God Jul! embroidery, I looked up to see the Swedish straw reindeer, the sleigh candle holder, the Dala horse ornaments,  and one of […]

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My Au Pair is Stealing Little Items: Should I rematch?

by cv harquail December 16, 2010
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This query was tucked away in a previous post: Tough Topic: When your au pair steals from you. I thought it deserved its own, up-to-the-minute conversation. From Host Mom Pippa: I just last week caught our au pair stealing little items from us, confronted her, and then caught her the next day stealing more. AP […]

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A Series of Bad Matches: Is it you, or your au pair Agency?

by cv harquail December 14, 2010

No one is responsible for a great host parent-au pair relationship. Or, rather, no one person or entity is responsible for great host parent-au pair relationship. That responsibility is shared between three parties: 1. The Au Pair her- or himself 2. The Host Parent(s), and 3. The Au Pair Agency. Because we host parents know […]

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When an Invasion of Privacy Threatens an Au Pair Relationship

by cv harquail December 9, 2010
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There’s a reason we have doors on our bedrooms, and it’s not to keep out the light or the noise when we’re trying to fall asleep– it’s to give us some privacy where we can completely relax, knowing that no one will see whatever it is we are doing. Sometimes I’ve felt like there is […]

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Is it reasonable to stop trusting my Au Pair after this?

by cv harquail December 5, 2010
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When we share a bond of trust with another person, we can can handle almost any kind of conflict or difference of opinion. For most of us, we begin our relationships with our au pairs with a foundation of ‘swift trust’, and then build on this foundation as each party meets their obligations, treats the […]

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