March 2009

The 3rd Car: Avoiding a sense of entitlement

by cv harquail March 31, 2009
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We all want to be generous, and we all want to be appreciated. There’s nothing like having a third car for your au pair to use to make you aware of the tension that can exist when you want to be generous and want to be appreciated. When we bought our first Volvo wagon to […]

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Should a former Au Pair step in to mediate a Host Family – Host Kid “situation”?

by cv harquail March 30, 2009
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Active Contributor Franzi, former au pair and now Host Mom, has shared a lot of advice seasoned with the perspective of both sides of the Au Pair- Host Parent relationship. Now, she’s in uncharted territory–wondering how to respond as a "former" au pair and current Host Kid Confidant. While I’m so happy to see au […]

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Poll: Putting groceries away… fair chore?

by cv harquail March 28, 2009
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One great treat of the internet age is ordering groceries on line to have them delivered to home at your convenience. We’ve been doing this for several years now, and it’s been worth every extra penny. I just log on whenever I find the time, and I schedule the delivery for when our au pair […]

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Getting her stuff back home: Is there a cheap way to ship things?

by cv harquail March 27, 2009
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The amount of money your au pair has saved and the amount of stuff she needs to get back home are inversely proportional. That’s a problem, because if she wants to take that stuff home, it’s gonna cost some money. How can your au pair get that extra stuff home as inexpensively as possible? One […]

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Advice Wanted: How to manage too much “personal” use of family car

by cv harquail March 25, 2009
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I need advice about car usage for our au pair. Our au pair has been with us for a little over 7 weeks now. She is doing a great job and has really blended well with our family. Part of her duties (driving) are to drop-off/pick-up our children from school 3 days a week & […]

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Can This Relationship Be Saved?Au Pair has tantrums when given feedback, then doesn’t change the behavior

by cv harquail March 24, 2009

Loyal Reader and Commenter Maya has had it — and who can blame her. Her au pair becomes a drama queen (my words) when given feedback, then doesn’t change the behavior. When I was reading this comment this morning, it brought back a wave of nausea, as I remembered our meeting with TL (worst au […]

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Using Your Car is a Privilege, not an Entitlement: Best practices

by cv harquail March 24, 2009
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Second only to food as a ‘terrain of struggle’ is the shared family car. While the luckiest of us host families has an extra clunker or not-so-clunker available for the au pair to use as her own, many more host families have their au pair share the family car. And, some host families do not […]

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Make your home a nest of creativity

by cv harquail March 19, 2009
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Perhaps one of the most useful bits of advice for managing an au pair relationship is "be creative". Creative in terms of how you see things, how you respond to challenges, how you integrate your priorities and your au pair’s abilities, and how you develop a relationship between your kids and your au pair. It […]

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Advice Wanted: My Au Pair just wants to get married– to anybody!

by cv harquail March 18, 2009
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Our current au pair, who is nothing spectacular but fine is trying desperately to marry an American. She’s online constantly trying to arrange a marriage for herself. This week, she told me she’d “met someone” online who is offering to marry her, pay for her schooling, buy her a car and a home, but he […]

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Half-Full or Half-Empty? Extending the “so-so” au pair

by cv harquail March 17, 2009
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Glass half full, or empty? We are approaching the time to decide whether to extend with current AP. Because she may have seen me reading this blog on my computer, I want to stay vague but give enough info to generate discussion. We’ve had several APs, and a few rematches. Two kids, one in kindergarten, […]

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